dvb

taking heed
2022-06-02 00:18:41 (UTC)

think about it. sit with the idea.

i'm barely hanging on. the grip in the fingers in my left hand are tapped out (today). how am i supposed to hang onto the cliff of sanity like this? i've fallen so far. everything feels. everything triggers emotional response. involuntarily. and i've been on the edge of panic attack all night. (not now, but 5-10:00 was a write off). tight chest and mind venturing into all the wrong places - your bosom. i'm trying to stay away. but i'm just going to say it -- i think we should talk and i think you should send the first message. there must be an available compromise. reading your writing makes me think it might be beneficial for us both. tell me i'm wrong by doing nothing.

today was ok. i siphoned off the entirety of my monthly allowance to the institutions that own me and bought a yesr's supply of avon black suede deodorant. it was sheets day and no one accosted me about my skinny arms (rare these days) but the fear of perception is fully activated. went out for a moderate scoot - i'm still coming across new trees that didn't make it through the derecho. i guess i've been going along my preferred routes to see how the periphery has changed. the gaps in june greenery. another reminder of the fragility of everything. still so much yet to be cleaned up after 12 days. about 8 blocks away is where i noticed the darkening sky. i got home with minutes to spare and put away the laundry to the performance of a smol storm.

it's election day as of eighteen minutes ago. surprise me, ontario! *zero optimism* i should purchase over priced beer. there are predictions of him getting even more seats. trying to




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