Evolving marriage
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2022-05-30 19:02:43 (UTC)

Much Better!

Dear Diary,
Well I had a hell of a night, only slept 3 hrs after that last entry. I was so upset and had to wait till the am to have a talk about what happened. I finally woke him near 9am. He was still a bit defensive and not what I was expecting. And I just didnt think this was going to go well or get resolved. UNTIL he realized with me explaining about Sub space and sub drop (read up if you dont know what that means) I broke down what was occurring and why I was there, and he didnt even realize it, or that we went into that realm, and he said "Oh my gosh, Im so sorry, so thats why you told me to read about aftercare? Im soo soo sorry, now this totally makes sense"


So needless to say, I explained to him how we move into a different realm with Kink play as opposed to regular vanilla sex etc. So its more of definining the line, parameters.

We were at odds and sitting on opposite ends of the couch and hashing all this out for awhile and then seemed to make progress and break through, he is Aspie also so his brain works different, and I have to give him things in a clear fashion to understand. Took him a bit, but we got there and then he grasped things. He apologized many times and said "This all makes so much sense as to what was happening with you, and Im soo sooo sorry, I really feel bad"

We ended making up and having sex as a result, as neither of us finished the day prior as things went haywire.

Hes doing better, got the bandages off his leg, took the brace off, he took his first shower yesterday since surgery. It looked gnarly and swollen, bruised, red, his leg after removing everything, after the shower and raising his legs in the bed, the color was normal again, and today it looks so good, I put some arnica on the bruises, lightly did the facia blaster around it, and he is icing it still off and on. We went and sat outside for 15 min for him to get some sun on it. He is walking with the crutches today and left the leg brace off.

We are reading Nancy Friday books online. I have never heard of them until a podcast mentioned them, so we are enjoying reading womens fantasies submitted in the 60s when women were treated much different and there was no such book on womens fantasies and the push back from men for writing such a book, its sad too many of the stories of the women and their spouses and how they have sex with them, women didnt have toys, porn, an outlet, it was vegetables and their minds, and Boy were they creative! Impressive! And lackluster sex with their husbands, really sad.

I got up and did my workout routine today, have been off from doing it regular since before my trip, and need to get back on board, Still doing Keto and have stayed about constant with the weight I initially lost, but not making progress more just yet, my eating was off on my trip and some over the past wk, but not terrible, but once exercise is a part of things again, it should change. Im also doing the fascia blaster every day, have some bruises of course from it, but overall Im keeping at it, will report back if this thing truly works after using it for a longer period of time.

Weather is gorgeous today, house is nice and comfortable.

Sex has been good, he got another sleeve, called The Mailman, Ha! I love him and his creativity, I would have never considered or bought such things and didnt even know about Sleeves for men to wear. So your many can provide you all kinds of sexual experiences, sizes, textures, and it doesnt have to come from someone else which I honestly think is super cool and wonder how many couples use such things? I think they are awesome. He used the mailman, Woah, its more of a bend you over and fuck you hard type as it fills you up nicely. :) Most come in various sizes you can choose from.

I have some letters to write, 2 to be exact! A penpal and my Aunt. Its been forever since Ive written letters, but have started as my husband does it also.

Today is a good day, I had sex, a full nights sleep, washed all the bedding, we read books together, we sat outside in the sun out back together, served us our lunch, got my shower and shaved, and now taking time to sit down and write. I need my morning routine back with my workout and diary/journaling time, its a great start to a day, the sun shining through all the windows sitting at the table. Yes, I need more of this.

Got an amazon order together today, we got a waterproof blanket, we go through so many towels on our bed or changing sheets now, and so it was time to get one.

All is well and we have recovered from our blow up. And the triggers it ignited in both of us which was a lot more of our conversation, but Ill spare all the details for now. Ive covered the basics.