TM49

My History Of Familial Incest
2022-05-24 16:07:21 (UTC)

Update Again

I am struggling a bit but that is to be expected. I know that every time this year for the rest of my life I am going to remember this loss. There's nothing I can do to change that. Perhaps with time it won't be as painful, time has a way of dulling even the worst pain. Grief is just hard, and it's one the few universally shared processes. NO ONE escapes this world without experiencing grief in some form.
Aside from that life is going well enough. I know my current mood is being influenced by the grief, but I'm not going to let it sweep me under. I've made a lot of emotional progress the past 6 months and every day I make that effort I move away from that dark drowning hole I was in.
Friendship with ex is going alright. Still no naughty. Sometimes he says things like he wants to go there but then changes the subject. I (sort of) respect that. Having an orgasm with someone does create feelings and a bond. It does complicate things. An orgasm is amazingly powerful (well the great ones are) so maybe it's good that we flirt a bit and no more. But damn, a chick gets horny:)
Life is changing for me and for the better. At least in it's current image. I'm becoming more okay being without someone. I mean romantically. I don't want it to be that way for the rest of my life, but that gaping hole of loneliness hasn't gripped me for awhile.
I'm not standing in bright light.
Nor am I lost in the dark.
I'm walking carefully with the shadows and enjoying the brighter spots as they emerge for me.
-TM




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