Christeven

Christeven
2022-05-21 05:45:00 (UTC)

to be silent

To put so much into sacarficing your entire life takes alot out of someone. To put a pause on your life and engolf yourself into someone eles has to mean something right? it has to mean you put yourself last and others above. Family can either make you and or tare you apart. To acknowlege that your " brother" has actually no idea how much his life comsumes mine. by no chose of mine own besides wanting to help make their life better. But what happens if the life you help create becomes something better than yours? to rub that into my face becomes a problem. perhaps he doesnt understand that EVERY day he rubs it in our faces but i see it. i live it. drinking never helps. drinking only helps me have a voice to explain how much i need space. in the wrong ways. if only he knew how much hes dividing my family for his own.

money doesnt define me. my actions define me. the support i have for the love of his family does. the every day sacriface i make defines me. it builds my sons character. to be silent in my own opioion. to hope one day this will be all worth it. to hope that my sacarfice will bring us all together will build our family better.

i know to everyone reading this cant understand. thoughts are just spilled out. but to me this is my theropy. this is what i have. i wish i i could write this as if you were in my head, watching it as a movie.




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