Tati

indifferent when we brush hands

hostility towards one's self makes for a reality where you cannot stop questioning yourself
judging your own motives
criticizing your tastes and interests and talents
unable to appreciate your work
believing horrible truths about yourself
feeling unrealistically terrible, no good, shouldn't be around, why are you even here?
unable to feel bad for yourself without guilt accompanying it
holding yourself up to standards unrealistically high and failing to meet them and bashing yourself for it anyway

a truly miserable existence