Slowly descending into madness
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2022-05-20 09:35:23 (UTC)


I'm tired. I'll sleep 2 more hours to round up 24 hours of sleep. Only then I'll go to work otherwise it's a no-no.

I saw my grandmother in my dreams IDK why. We weren't that close. She died in 2018. I saw that I hugged her. Truth is I don’t remember when was the last time I hugged her. I remember the last time I saw her face, she died that night. It’s not my favourite memory, I was forced to see the deadbody.

I wanna text him and just say I miss you babai. But I wont. You see, it's not the game of ego or anything. I don’t have ego when it comes to him. It’s the fact that I think he's better off without me. He told me so. And I believed him. I can't just enter anyone's life without adding any value to it. It's not right. If I can't make him feel better, I shouldn’t text. That's it.