Gentleman ♀

Concerned About A Friend

Hey,

God, my life’s been boring lately. I really have no clue what to talk about. Ermmmm, I’m failing a class rn. Yay… It’s called DC and Design and it’s basically just photo editing made less fun. She also had us color self portraits then cut them out and shove ‘em on a paint stirrer to take photos with which was odd. Before you judge me for failing the class though, I’d just like to let you know that half the people I know are bad at the class too. A few are even failing right along with me. I know because my mom likes to bring up all my failures in front of my friends. I don’t know why she does it but it’s every time. She always asks them if they talk back or if they miss any assignments or any of that crap. I mean, I don’t really care if they know I’m failing, but I still don’t appreciate it. Like, what if I did care? You know? And it can’t make my friends very comfortable either. Their only options are to either make themselves sound bad to my mom or throw me under the bus. It’s a lose-lose situation no matter how you look at it. I guess it’s whatever though, maybe I’ll do the same thing to her friends, see how she likes it. Jkjk, I’d probably get grounded. Plus it would just give her all the more reason to fuck with me again, so I guess I’ll just leave it alone. Maybe I’ll remind her not to do it the next time I hang out with my friends.

Oh, something else that’s going on -kinda- is that I’m meeting my school counselor sometime soon to talk about that girl. I don’t know if I’ve said her name or even mentioned her ever but I’m not going to say her name here just because it feels like something I shouldn’t give out when it comes to what I’m talking about. Anyway, I just emailed the school counselor around an hour ago and it’s scary. I asked to meet with her in her office to talk about my friends “concerning behavior” or whatever fancy sounding words I spat up on that email. I wanted to talk to her because my friend’s allegedly been drinking alcohol, getting high, and I’ve seen her vape before. I know there’s less than two weeks left of school but I seriously wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to her and I knew I could have done something to prevent it. I’ve been talking with my dad about this for a while and we both agreed that I should probably tell a teacher. I’m not trying to get her in trouble or anything, she’s just really nice and if I need to get an adult to straighten her out in the short term I can only hope it’ll keep her straight in the long term as well. Still homo though, just maybe not a drunken druggie at the age of 13. And again, she doesn’t seem very drunk or high but I guess I’m pretty bad at detecting that sort of shit. I know she could totally be lying about everything except the vape but I think we’re no to better safe than sorry. This girl obviously has some issues but she’s really nice and I’d like to be a part in saving her before it’s too late. I just hope nobody figures out it was me who (technically) told on her.

This is pretty off-topic but have you seen Dr. Suess midnight paintings? They really do make you think. If you've never seen them before I suggest you look at a few or even watch the video by Solar Sands called "The Secret Darker Art of Dr. Seuss." Some of them are really pretty and some of them make you wonder. I think my favorite is Freebird. I love all the vibrant colors and the beautiful waves as well as the long flowing tail of the bird. Cat From The Wrong Side of The Tracks is pretty interesting too. It's a lot darker in both colors and themes. The pool table is amazing to look at too. The angles and distortion are almost mesmerizing and I love it. Pink Tufted Small Beast in a Night Landscape is another one of my favorites. I still love the colors although darker than Freebird. The "beast" is very pretty and the landscape is super odd, in a good way. It's kind of odd to see the other side of Seuss. Such a happy and (relatively) kind man painting some depressing things. There are his old WW2 illustrations too. Racist and offensive. There's even a drawing of Hitler in his iconic style. It's odd.

It’s the next day and I actually talked to the school counselor about my friend. She called my classroom to have me come down in 8th period and I was there for maybe 10 minutes tops. When I walked in she told me that she’d gotten my email about my friend and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was doing good and tried to find a good way to start it off. Before I told her who it was and what they were doing I was trying to explain 100 different things to the counselor. I apologized for getting to her so late in the year and said I didn’t want to get anybody in trouble and that she probably already knew but I knew I had to say something just in case. I think both the counselor lady and I knew I was stalling so I stopped mid-sentence and started a new one. I asked her if she knew [insert friends name] and she said yes. Apparently she was pretty familiar with her and told me that they meet relatively frequently. She said she and the girls mom knew she did some questionable stuff but still asked me to explain further what’s going on. I told her that I know for a fact my friends vapes and then I also told her about my friends alleged use of alcohol and drugs. The counselor let me know that she mostly knew about all of that and asked me how recently everything was. I told her that I saw her vape a few months ago but heard that she’d been drinking up to a day ago. The counselor lady said alright and told me that she’d contact my friends mom. She promised not to use my name and promised not to get my friend in trouble and for that I am forever greatful. We agreed that my friend was super nice and deserved better ways to cope with stress then she sent me back to class. The counselor also told me that I was a great friend and a people pleaser in some aspects and that made me happy. I’m so glad I said something though. I could’ve never forgiven myself if something happened and I never said anything. It’s also good to have the knowledge that people are working with her, like the counselor and her mom, to get her to stop these bad habits. Even if I don’t talk to her that often, a friend is a friend, and I love my friends more than anything!

And speaking of friends, my vacation with Avery is coming up in only like 2 weeks! It’s horrifying! I’m gunna have to order my own food and be on a plane without my family and get dressed and do makeup in a timely fashion. My worst nightmare~ Okay, okay, it’s seriously up there though. I need to start picking out outfits too. I only own like 3 pairs of shorts and maybe 3 or 4 T-shirts I like. My plan is to take photos of my next weeks worth of outfits that I like and just reuse those. Just find the right clothes and pack ‘em up. Maybe bring an extra few pairs of underwear and a shit ton of deodorant and I’ll probably be fine… or maybe not… This might be tmi so you might wanna skip ahead a little if you’re sensitive to this sort of stuff but I seriously get a lot of crotch and back sweat. Like, to the point where it’s ridiculous. And then it’s gunna be super hot in Florida and all that. No thanks! I guess I’ll just have to, you know, use a shit ton of deodorant. Did you know you can use deodorant for anywhere on your body? Well you do now. Thank god for that! Okay, sorry if that was gross but I have one more - not gross - thing to talk about. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Okay, that’s it. Sorry if this entry was a bit weird but oh well. I’ll write again soon! Buh bye!

~ Gentleman