Mariel is MIA
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2022-05-14 15:29:16 (UTC)

Reluctantly, reluctant. Mr Hinge and I

I talked to my shrink last week about how to handle this Hinge man sitch. I like him and we have a nice relationship. It's comfortable. But it isn't exciting. It doesn't send chills down my spine or anything else like that. But comfortable it is. I have been going over shit in my head- what do I want and how important is that excitement bug that I am craving? Or is it that i, craving because I have been so out there in my past, that maybe even really cool dudes don't come close to this notion.

I've made a determined effort to get this guy to open up sexually. He's so closed and timid. My gf's say hang on cause nice is good and sex wanes with time. But he's like 30 so it seems a bit quick to wane so fast. Then i think to myself, maybe i have to push him more. I have always been wanting him to do something but i get it that he can't read my mind. Just i'm afraid if i do offer something out of his comfort zone, he'll think of me as too wild. I dunno. Maybe I'll try something different tonight. I take so many chances in life, but with him, I just seem to hold it all in. Maybe I'm just as reluctant to show myself as he is.

This is all so dumb.
All so dumb.

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