Tati

Hoy es viernes

Yo tengo un presentacion en mi clase de Español. No quiero (a?) presentar. Pero necesito tiempo para (a?) jugar juegos y ver streamers de twitch. Ademas el año is ending.

It is a strange thing, Spanish. Many of the words are so close to English ones that it’s easy to guess the meaning. And some I’ve just become so familiar with that I simply know the meaning. It’s a nice feeling to know I’m learning new words but the procrastinator in me wants to die.

https://youtu.be/KVcptglGlEY
If I can prove that I never touched my balls🧌

Am I a people pleaser? I’ve somewhat come to terms with the fact that I’m the type of person that will literally download an app for someone but I don’t necessarily like it. Going through the trouble. But I’d acknowledge that it benefits both of us, and maybe that’s why? Nothing I do could be totally selfless, that’s just not how that works. I’m the type that will avoid doing something because I might make other people uncomfortable. Making other people uncomfortable, the thought of it really, makes me uncomfortable. What does that mean?

I’m the type to honestly be sad to disappoint my teachers or delay turning in assignments. I don’t want people to think badly of me but I continue to make mistakes that I feel are ruining peoples view of me. Has it ever even mattered to begin with? Who am I even living for.

Putting that same idea on the current situation. Parents want me to succeed in school. I don’t want to go to school because I’m lazy, unmotivated, and scared of being seen noticed or judged. In the end, if I fulfill their wish, I end up with a future that is easier than without a high school diploma. They would get reputation points. They would have a child that didn’t fail their high school years and managed to graduate with decent, not average, grades. I have to work because I can’t
Ruin
Their
Reputation.

??? So lame. Just. So. How do you phrase it. It’s such a vague? Shallow? Superficial reason. Rambles. Rambles. And more rambles. The end is never the end.