Tati

Beauty and fat distribution

Would you rather be beautiful or simply slim?

I've come to know that one is still not good without the other and with one, you won't even need the other.
I don't wish that my body were bigger than it is. I just wish it didn't look like this, but wishing has gotten me nowhere.
There's no point in wishing, but hate, it will at least give you something. Death, pain, sorrow, etc.
I wanted beauty, and I got nothing of the sort.
Shame.

To answer my own question,
I would rather be beautiful.

I lost all my sharp ended objects. There are no more of those thingies in the closet so I have to get them when we go out. They only found out about one of the ways, there will always be others. I'll get them.
For clothes that surround me,
suffocating and messy,
dry and deformed,
I will cut my way out of this.
And make satisfactory grades,
spelled out in my blood.