Slowly descending into madness
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Note to myself
No matter how much I miss him, I will not text. I shall not text. I won't text. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
This love is one sided, he doesn’t feel anything for me except for the fact that I'm toxic and manipulative. I don’t have a problem with me being involved in one sided love. I have a problem with me destroying him. I can't text him. I won't text him. Only if he's inactive online, I can ask about his whereabouts. Other than that, I won't let him know that I miss him or want to talk to him or anything. Not even if I'm sad to the point to the point I'm killing myself. If things become too sad, drugs will help me. BUT No. No. No. No. No.
In no way I'm harming another person because of my feelings. Let him move on, let him find peace, let him get married to someone else or idk what he wants to do.
PLEASE DON’T TEXT HIM. PLEASE DON’T.