Nothing to do. Well, many things to do. Nothing I want to or plan on doing. Turn in those papers. Ask her about those assignments. Read that book. Avoid food? I mean what’s the point? But also I don’t really need it if I’m not hungry. I’d be wasting it. Other people need it. I’ll eat my leftovers because I don’t want anyone to eat after me (ew). Homework. Showers. Skincare. Smmmmlleee.
The lights went out during my shower last week. Crazy. And I just kept showering lmao.
Feeling? No. Am not feeling today. Just thinking and imagining and working. Eating,,, I didn’t have breakfast but some people don’t even believe in 3 meals a day being healthy.
Easy - Roar
I like playing brown noise really loudly so I can’t hear any of the people or noise around me. Feels safer.
I read this one reddit post yesterday, or this morning, I can’t remember, about how if you have social anxiety or worsening symptoms of it or whatever you should get help because it doesn’t get better. 💔how encouraging. It doesn’t matter now though because I’m behind on homework and these people,, I don’t need them? What I need is to complete my work and move on. I’m caught up in history and nearly excel. The others I’m still working on.
I have time on my hands. It’s not a bad thing. But it’s wasted being here at school. Unfortunately, I know that even if I was at home I would waste it there too on all of the things that make me feel like I’m wasting time despite enjoying it.
Tv. Games. Sleeping. Videos.
The only things that don’t feel like absolute wastes of time are homework, time with family, hygiene, and writing (sometimes).
Honesty with one’s self? Scary. Things controversial, hateful, wishful, romantic, disgusting, cute, interesting, sexual, emotional, and sad. I don’t allow half the things I think to actually be /thought/ because I don’t want to become the person that I have the potential to be within my mind. Self hate is a silly little thing. Wrong and bad and right and good. I hold myself to moral standards that are a little stifling. Aren’t kids supposed to be demons anyway? I can’t let myself go
It wouldn’t look good on me.
Maturity doesn’t, wouldn’t, look good on me. Neither would immaturity. I don’t know what I am. I don’t want to know. I’d rather stop knowing what I know already.
I wish I’d never met me.
This entry is an L
How to be peace with ones self.
Embrace the separation between body and mind. Acknowledge the barrier between the world and you. And thrive alone, without physical body. Mind space. Protective imagines. And good music. I think I’m out of commission.