Slowly descending into madness
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2022-05-07 18:50:54 (UTC)

My lips belong to someone else

Note to myself: never apply cinnamon oil to lips ever again. That gave me a 2nd degree burn. First I thought they were swollen, apparently those were blisters!?!?!? I noticed my upper lip has a brown hint and my lips feels so uncomfortable. Like they do not belong to me. The skin feels extremely tight and dry. It just feels weird.

I folded my clothed and segmented them properly. I'm so proud of myself. And I slept all day because I have severe headache. The only times I woke up, I had napa extra and applied balm then slept again. Every month I suffer at least twice like this.

I bought a plushie: a baby penguin. I named it shorty. I started liking this thing more than I thought I would. It’s really cute. It always be on my chest even when I'm working.

I adore the real penguin as well. And I miss him. Wish I could just talk to him. Sometimes I wonder whether he misses me too or he just thinks all the bad stuff about me? Manipulative, toxic, immature, hoe and other pretty adjectives idk. Noticed he made all his playlists private, didn’t understand the point. I literally left all the social media he could possibly be on. What else could I do? Leave earth? Um, trying to? He can literally activate messenger, facebook as well, I'm never texting him anywhere bruh. I even changed this diary's name and username. WHAT ELSE COULD I POSSIBLY DO TO LET HIM LIVE W/O MY PRESENCE EVERYWHERE?????