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2022-05-06 14:18:00 (UTC)

Im scared. Im fudging spooked. ..

Im scared. Im fudging spooked. Im getting terrible vibes. HORRIBLE VIBES MAN.

Im reading Emerging.
Ill have you know, im somewhat of a germaphobe, this is making me sick to my stomach.
I used to be worse, not even letting my family breathe the same air as me (like being too close and almost breathing in their used oxygen). Didnt let anyones hands touch me (still dont let anyone touch my face) at all. Didnt even use the same bathroom as my siblings, went to my parents’ bathroom instead. Pretty sure the catalyst for my behavior and sudden fear of really having anything to with germs (this started in like 6-7th grade) was my brother vomiting inside of the car. Just thinking about it makes me want to die a little. Nothings been the same since then. I stopped liking milkshakes after that too. And anything he ate.

I just had covid like 1-2 weeks ago. I have to remember that that’s what i was most afraid of getting before. So im safe, to an extent. What I feared most wasnt necessarily getting sick, it was getting contaminated with the germs of others. I didnt even want to spread my germs to other people, never ate after anyone (NEVER WILL). So yeah.

Everything’s fine but this story is giving me the heebie-jeebies and its only chapter 2 pls help