Evolving marriage
2022-05-04 22:41:55 (UTC)

Normal Day

Dear Diary,
Well yesterday I took it easy, the wind was blowing, couldnt do much outside (allergies) so opted for a rest day. Laid in bed a lot. Husband cooked us steak again and asparagus on the grill (I love when he cooks!) Ive told him thats one of the biggest things that I love, more then other things a guy can do, cook for me!

We made it through a day with actually no sexual activity. We ended up watching the Depp/Heard trial, Ive not followed it but get snippets so we are watching the recaps with Christina Randall on youtube to get up to speed.

Today I had a to do list, and I got up and dressed and in my work clothes and outside before 9am. Pulled loads of foxtails, 2 trash bins full. Cleaned up elm seeds, pulled lots of other weeds all around, raked, you name it. Trash day was today so our bin was packed and I was ready to fill it again. Talked to my big sis also while working. Shes going to be out here in a few wks and I hope to be back in time to see her, as Im going out of state and not sure if things will line up, but I hope so!

I also cut the lettuce in the garden, it was huge, one bundle is enough for 2 large salads for each of us tonight and I have to cut the other one ASAP before it bolts and seeds as it will be bitter to eat the lettuce then. So tonight its fresh garden salad! I boiled some eggs, have some avocado, we have some Kim Chi, some cilantro dressing, some cheese, olives, some items in the fridge we can throw in to make it a meal. I also pulled out the juicer today and used some of the large swiss chard leaves for the juice I made. Will try and do it again, have to cut that down short also before it bolts, one item already did and is starting to flower, too late!

Part of me doesnt really want to go out of state right now, but I need too. It will be good for me, I know it, get out of here, take the new vehicle for a good test run for travel, go visit my high school gf, go see my cousins and all my great neighbors, go visit Dads grave, go check on the property, go eat at the great restaurant there I love. And its nice to just be in the Midwest, small town living. I get to drive through several states and will be so nice in the new vehicle, plus I bought the air mattress and pump for the back I need to try out so I can crash in the back from time to time instead of hotels. Ill stay with my gf Im sure on the way home as I can do the trip in 2 days, but Im thinking of leaving Moms day and dont want to intrude on people then.

I am a mother, I heard from my youngest last night, they typically text or call me now, but things for yrs, have been hard, awkward, and difficult because of what happened with their Father and all the abuse. He used them, he manipulated them too, to abuse me by proxy and its just been a bad thing, they are in their 20s, they are starting to get some parts of it, but its tough, plus we lost a bunch of relatives, family, death and that also did a number on some of the relationships, Really my Mom was the hub and the glue for the family and when she left way before her time suddenly it really turned everyones world upside down. I have not seen my youngest in yrs, hes been in and out of jail, drugs, alcohol. My oldest I saw not long ago in our hometown. But hes yet to travel here as Ive urged him to come. He would love it here, I know he would, and we would even consider having him stay if he wanted to find work here and stay put, But hes never taken up the offer to come yet. Hopefully one day.

Mind you, I raised my kids in the church, private schools, christian values, home, no drinking, drugs, I mean christian music, no cable tv, no video game systems... yeah that was how it was at my house. Dad on the other hand was giving them alcohol, partying with them, girls, GOd knows what really, so he undermined everything (even though he claimed he was a christian man)

So yeah, my kids had their grandparents in their lives also the entire time they grew up and my Mom was like the other parent and they loved her. So they were not neglected or had a lack of love or guidance in their lives. You try and do your best, but its up to them once they leave the nest, and I pray they find their way and come back around and things can be closer.

So I came in, took a shower then epsom salt bath, lotion, aspirin, and now laying down, I have to do that after a full day of yard work as I jack myself up if I dont and end up sore in the neck or shoulders or something, have to practice self care. I have the insane fixation and motivation to work my ass off but my body pays for it later.

Im going to the city tomm for the Thermography and booked another hyperbaric therapy appt, and Ill run to Costco and take some returns, maybe hit up TJ Max, I always love going there, so fun and cheap!

I had some lingerie and items come in from Amazon, some leather strap and chain type lingerie, some vintage style black garter belts, red open cup bra to go with the red fishnets, and I got this purple cool bra, garter, underwear set. Some things from amazon are amazing and cheap! I return items too but this latch batch were all keepers. I got the neck and wrist restraints also. I Have the bed restraints already, but we have yet to try them out, but I have everything.

Amazon makes it easy to buy sex toys, kinky stuff, lingerie, etc and much you can return if it doesnt fit right or you dont like it, etc. And its not even near the store prices. I now have a drawer full of stockings, bras, cute underwear and not the garters as I had my old ones I need to toss in the trash as they are so old. Like I said it has been a long time since lingerie was happening around here. My husband has been more on the end of buying sex toys, hes into that, and I dont think I wrote, but he tried out this King Cock strap on in the dark a few nights ago on me, Ha! that was a surprise. He geeks out on all the crazy stuff he can try. He did order me a wet suit look lingerie piece from Love Honey though. :) Hope it fits okay.

We have discussed trying the edibles again on the wknd, since it wasnt meh in Vegas. So maybe friday eve or Sat am since we will have the day.

I keep wondering if we will wind down sexually, we have been riding this high for awhile now. Ive been outside working, a lot of labor and Im exhausted and dirty and dont want to talk when Im done and hit the shower and veg out. Then Im good in a few hrs, but I need that time to unwind.

All in all nothing super crazy to report today, just living normal life.