Gentleman ♀

I Hate Middle School
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2022-04-27 10:41:18 (UTC)

Tests & Cats & Cosplays & Friends


So ummmmmm, we had maps testing or air testing or something today. an hour and a half to do 27 math questions. I finished in 37 minutes and drew for the rest of the time. It was stupidly boring but I guess it wasn't that bad. I feel like shit now though, my head hurts and I'm hungry as hell. I'll live though. Because of the testing, the seats are different in class. We got to sit in whatever seat we wanted so Olivia Vinny and I sat in an L shape. We planned on working together but Vinny's in one of his moods again so it's just me and Olivia with Vinny staring off into space. He's contributing a bit but it's mostly mumbles. I swear, Vinny's one of my best friends but he's really annoying me lately with his... lack of existence. I guess this is karma for annoying him though. His entire existence makes me feel small. Not in the sense that he puts me down but because it's like I don't exist or I'm so absolutely infuriating that he feels the need to act like I don't exist. He's very invested in his work. So are a lot of my other friends. I'm not saying they should be as careless as me but I do wish they cared a bit less. Grades aren't worth crying yourself to sleep over you know?

Speaking of crying yourself to sleep though, that's what I did last night. Gotta love that right? I was just thinking about my cat. I love him so much and the thought that I'll never see him again... I can't take it. That cat was my life, is my life. I have pictures of him around my room and every time I finish an entry I sign with his name. I can't let it go. I want to snuggle with him and pet him and play with him even just one more time. I had another dream about him last night. I was playing outside with Hailey when I saw him run across the yard. I picked him up in my arms and ran inside to tell my dad. My dad was happy but didn't seem to care much and he squirmed out of my hands. Then the dream ended...

Hooray, day two of testing! Just as long, just as boring, but for a second time! On the bright side though I found something interesting to do while waiting for the test to be over. Yesterday I was working on my realism but today... I drew stick bugs. Just tons of stick bugs. We're not allowed to keep our scratch paper so the teacher takes it away at the end of the test but I managed to snag a photo of mine with my Chromebook before anyone saw. I had stick bug, thicc bug, Rick bug (Rick and and Morty), Mick bug (Mickey mouse), sick bug (doing a kickflip), chic flick bug (saying "You cheated on me? With my own Mother!?"), stick bug? (spiderman bug), lick bug (with a tongue), Dobrik bug (David), clique bugs, magic bug, flick bug (getting flicked), chick bug (baby bird), ick bug (grossed out), and trick bug (spell icup). Pretty impressive right? That's 17 bugs all rhyming with "stick". All jokes aside though, that test stinks. I finished day one in 37 minutes while Olivia didn't even finish in 90. I think it's unreasonable that we have to take the same time for completely different tests. After the last one Vinny was all upset and certain he did bad and what can I even say to that? I told him that it's okay and that even a 60% is considered good so he has nothing to worry about but I just hate how it doesn't help.

I don't know what to do about Vinny. I've just resorted to ignoring shit irl but that doesn't mean I don't think about it. We've been trying to hang out but it never seems to work out. Since this summer's starting we decided to get a new pool and trampoline, cool right? Well, it turns out we got the trampoline from Vinnys' neighbors. I thought it was funny so I told him about it and suddenly he was interested in hanging out. We were planning on hanging out when he asked me if the trampoline was up yet. I told him no and suddenly he remembered he couldn't come over that day. That happened twice and now he keeps asking me if it's up yet. Like, seriously, what grade are we in? He probably doesn't even want to hang out with me! He just wants to go on the trampoline! What a three-year-old. Do you know who uses people for their trampoline? My neighbor kid when he was 7 and owned cockroaches. Okay, that's kinda mean to the neighbor kid but still. Cockroaches are cool but are you really gunna own them as a pet? Either way, I don't think he wants to actually hang out with me. Of course, it's upsetting, but I'm too sick of everything to care. I guess we'll just hang out when I put my trampoline up then.

It's after lunch now and Olivia just told me a secret. Apparently, she's pretty sure she's genderfluid. It took her a long time to build up the courage to say it and I let her know that I'm ready when she is and that I won't judge them. After she told me she looked at me with this almost cartoony face like she was waiting for me to be... mad maybe? Idk but she looked relieved when I said alrighty, cool. I asked them what pronouns she wants me to use and she said that she's fine with any. I joked around that I was gunna use bbq sauce as their pronouns but I think I'll use she/them until further notice. Is that weird? Should I use all pronouns for them? I'm gunna google it. Google says that it all depends on the person so maybe I'll ask them next period. It'll definitely take a little getting used to for me to avidly use their correct pronouns but I know she'll appreciate it. I don't need her appreciation, I'm happy to just make them comfortable, but she's the type to appreciate the little things. I thought about telling her about me questioning but decided not to. I guess I should probably be more sure of myself before I start talking about that stuff.

Yesterday I went to the store with my dad and we got a bunch of stuff to do the Kirishima cosplay. We got red fabric for the skirt, foam for the headpiece, and some spray paint for everything. We also got some glue to stick everything together. My dad found this tutorial on youtube so we're going to follow that. I'm so excited to make this cosplay and dress up. If I could be Kirishima's friend I would. He seems like such a cool dude and his character development hits me in the feels every time. He's so loyal and such a cool dude, I know he's only a cartoon character but you af to admit, as far as cartoons go he's pretty cool. (Time skip to after school) My dad just stuck like 20 pieces of tape to my face to get the general shape for the headpiece. Now he's gunna carve it out into the EVA foam and attach it at the right parts so it should look pretty cool! There are no tutorials on youtube for how to make Kiri's skirt-cape-thing so we're kinda on our own. I think it'll be alright though, we just gotta wrap the fabric around my waist and cut it into the right shape. The thing's supposed to look jacked up anyway so if we mess up we can pretend like it was meant to look like that lol. bout the hair too, my hair grows like a weed and I just got a haircut so the bleached part of my bangs is non-existent. I only got my hair cut like two months ago and it's literally grown like an inch. No joke. Most people would kill to have hair that grows like mine but damn do I wish I had slower-growing hair sometimes. It's not all bad though, it allows me to try out all sorts of funky hairstyles pretty quickly. But either way, the bleached bit'll be gone till next Thursday (after the con which is this Sunday) so we've changed our mind to just do red hair spray. it might not look as good but it's better than nothing. I have high hopes for this cosplay still. It's gunna be great!

I have to go now but I'll write again soon! Buh bye!

~ Gentleman