Gone mental

Pull the skin back

So for years we have had NO real relationship. Then I go and do some stupid… I acquiesced to it. I was actually kinda excited to explore sex a bunch. I’m not gonna lie, it was a complete turn on. Two nights later, she pulls the brakes. She says she doesn’t know me. She talks about me masterbating for the five years we never had any kind of sex. She worries the time will affect us. What? I thought two nights ago was good… what the fuck was I thinking?

I am back to just KNOWING I should be alone. I am so not good at this. It really is too much work. That night was good, but I’m no longer sure I want to endure the backlash weirdness and questioning that came with it.

JFC… why can’t I just have a normal life?

My bright spot today was getting my mail. It was a good thing today…