Slowly descending into madness
2022-04-24 13:16:13 (UTC)

Please help

I had a bad day today. Went to uni, attended one class half sleep, next class I slept the whole time, then had one hour break, went to prayer room and slept there. After that I could function. Attended another class then I worked. Came back home only to find out the lift is getting repaired or some shit so I had to take the stairs. Mind you, I live in 6th floor and I was carrying a laptop :)) Almost had an asthma attack then saw some woman was laughing at me taking trying to catch breath. Wanted to beat her up but didn't. So proud of myself.

Everyday it's getting tougher for me. I don’t want to attend classes next 2 days. I'm fasting and I'm as dehydrated as possible I'll die. My UTI is resurfacing again, it hurts to pee, it hurts to move and I feel like my body has gotten heavy like a deadbody. I can't move fast. Not to mention, my breasts got bigger, they're hurting my back and my dresses fit too tight on me. I just feel like sleeping but I'm always on the panic mode that I need to finish my work.

I can't do this anymore. Yes the pay is good but all the projects are killing me.

When I came back home, I wish I had someone to listen to me. I mean I'd just complain, nothing else. Since I have no one, I cried myself to sleep. That's what strong women do apparently. But I don’t want to be strong anymore. I wish I had someone to listen to me.