Gentleman ♀

Easter And Tension

Hello,

I swear, I haven’t had such relevant dreams in my life. Last night I had a dream that my mom was calling me into the kitchen. When I came over she told me that Vinny was inviting me over. Apparently, it was to his family’s “family night.” My brain probably got the family night thing from Riley because she used to have family night at her house and Kiarra and I always used to come over. I remember my mom was talking about how adamant he was that I came over. It felt really good to know how much he wanted to hang out with me. Too bad it was just a dream.

Happy Easter guys! Sorry about the drama in the first bit but I guess now I’ll tell you about my Easter so far. Last night before I went to sleep we dyed Easter eggs. It was fun and I’m pretty proud of some of my eggs. This morning I slept in till 9 but Hailey said she was going to wait to re-find hers till I woke up so I got up. We walked around for a bit and found our baskets. We got some pretty good stuff. I got a blacklight foxy plush which was adorable, a fnaf graphic novel (silver eyes), a tomato and snap pea garden kit, some Carmel mocha peeps, some gum, some mochi, and some other stuff. It was pretty good.

Later today we’re supposed to go over my aunts so that’ll be fun hopefully. We’re also supposed to go over my grandma Vickeys and I had an idea. Yesterday my mom was like “I bet Jaylan’s never even dyed eggs before” and I agreed. He probably hasn’t. So my mom found some egg dying kits in the basement and we’re going to try and buy some eggs to boil and we’re gunna dye eggs with Jaylan! I hope he enjoys it. I’ll update you later on how it all goes. See ya!

It's the end of the day now and everything went about as expected. Brunch at my aunts was kinda boring but going over Jaylans was nice. We forgot the egg dying kits so we just used food dye but it still worked pretty well. I was telling Jaylan how we have to take him to cedar point this summer and he agreed. Apparently, he's afraid of heights but he said he'd still go on the rides if we took him. We talked about hoarders and kids that look 30 and kids that look 5 and tons of other things. I'm so glad we started visiting grandma and Jaylan again because I really like being there. Even if it's a bit awkward or we're just sitting there I really enjoy every second of it. I hope we go back sometime soon, I'd like to see them again already.

Olivia texted me again today. I'd tell you exactly what we said but I have screentime on my phone so I cant look back on our messages. The first bit took place this morning and it was us saying happy Easter and telling each other what we got. After that, she texted me while I was at my grandma's and we talked about how the Easter parties went. Hers went better than expected and mine went about as expected. Then on the drive back is when things got dramatic as usual. I asked her if she was still awake and she said yes (it was around 10 pm on a school night so some people would be asleep). I asked her how she was feeling about tomorrow and she said nervous, scared, confused, and something else I can't remember. Probably anxiety, I'll edit it in tomorrow if I remember. She asked me how I was feeling and I said about the same. I told her about my dream and how I almost wish I could stay asleep and she said she was sorry. I said it was alright and that I needed to be awake to fix things in real life.

She told me about her dream too. Her dream was that everyone she knew decided they didn't like her anymore except me. I'm 99% sure she's embellishing it to make me not feel bad but whatever. It's not like she can control what her subconscious dreams up. I told her I was so sorry she had to deal with that and that at least her subconscious knows I'll never leave her. I don't remember exactly how she responded but I'm sure it was super nice. I told her how it feels like my dreams are teasing me. I dreamt that I found my cat and that things were fine with Vinny and in my dreams everything is fine. She said she was sorry but I said it was alright. It's better to feel good in my dreams than never, I just wish they were more real. We ended up talking a bit more and she ended up telling me that she was shaking from anxiety. I hate how my friends have to deal with this. I told her I was sorry and that I'd hug her if I could. I told her to take some deep breaths, try not to think about it too much, and that it'll get better if we wait it out. She took some deep breaths and it was better.

She said she was going to bring me a snack tomorrow and that's very nice of her. I said I was going to bring her a snack too. First I had to make sure that "hypothetically" if I were to give her some caramel mocha peeps, she would like them and she said that she "hypothetically" would. She then asked me "hypothetically" what my favorite candy was out of a list and I gave a few choices. God, I love Olivia. She really is the best. I should probably go to sleep now but I hope everything goes well for us tomorrow. With everything going on it might be awkward but oh well. My only goal is to relieve some tension from between us. Does that mean walking on eggshells around Vinny while acting like I'm not? I'm not sure. Whatever feels right I guess. Wish me luck! Buh bye!

~ Gentleman