Evolving marriage
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2022-04-17 19:54:25 (UTC)


Dear Diary,
Didnt sleep as well last night, my glutes are sore and whatever I pulled or strained under my right armpit area were bugging me. I got up about 5am and took a tylenol. The moon has been so bright the last 2 nights when I wake up, its lights up the outside, so pretty.

Got back in bed and woke up after 7am, husband was awake on his phone scrolling through stuff. I played another podcast and was just laying on my side eyes closed. It was one on a guy and it said "Squirting saved their marriage" so that was a unique title and we listened to it.

So squirting and sex, hasnt happened for me, for us, didnt know if it was a real thing. Only know the crazy aspect of it from porn, but then there are some sex ed type channels and people I like and trust what they share going over how it is a real thing. I was reading on how it works, feels and have heard it described as a building feeling, that you get like your going to urinate, so most women stop there. Hmmm,,, and that you have to let go and let that feeling go (burst) if you will. As I read and listened I realized a few times of masturbation place in the past I have felt that sensation right up to orgasm, its like this intense pressure but I clench and tighten then and dont let go. So it had me wondering "Can I squirt?" and we have watched a few how tos on that. Have heard it takes some time, how to do the movement with the mans fingers, and how to be a little rough with the G spot, in a more jerking motion once you are there. We have been trying here and there, my husbands arm gets fatigued, and the sensation is good, but nothing like that has ever happened.

So we listened to the podcast this am about this guy and his sex life and relationship with his wife, not being open, not talking and sharing thoughts, afraid what the other would think, not complimenting your partner physically (Your beautiful, your hot, your body is amazing) talking to your spouse during sex, etc. And so much more..

We laid in bed for awhile. We have a red light wand for the body, and we use it on our private areas also, and he was caressing my nipples then touching them softly while I was doing that under the covers, and he teased me so much, I love nipple touch, light pinching, sucking, kissing them, pulling, you name it, its my biggest turn on. So I moved his hand down and he began to touch me and finger me but assumed the position for the G spot and trying to make a woman squirt. It feels damn good, but it goes on for awhile, his arm cramped and he said he had to switch sides and use the other arm. Im just enjoying, and he kept at it, I know we are both wondering "is this thing for real?" This does feel good" "Will more happen" and I know his arm is exhausted. But I kept remembering the part that gets in the way is the thought of clenching, stopping, holding back, that peeing sensation, but also to relax and let go. So I kept intermittent totally relaxing my body to go limp but then clenching again. Best way I can describe the sensation is how it felt when I was going into labor with my firstborn in the car on the way to the hospital and the urge to push took over, I couldnt control it and felt like super heavy pressure and you just have to roll with it to let the baby naturally push out with your body, except I was in the car, trying to hold back as best I could to make it in time.

It happened! Now I didnt squirt in the sense of things flying, no splash zone goggles needed, but I could feel this warm sensation and my husband said it was on his hand, it was thicker then urine but still a liquid, it felt so good. I didnt want him to stop. I felt like I was writhing around as the G spot was so sensitve and I can feel it inside, hard and the pressure. It felt sooo good. He was telling me how beautiful I am and I had read you can end up with intense emotions, crying or laughing. Well the crying hit me, I mean CRYING, I asked him to hold me and Im bawling, like heaving bawling and husband started to laugh holding me which made me laugh cry. He said "Man that was the ugliest cry ever" and he isnt saying that in a bad way to me, but that he knew when I started to cry this was truly it. I knew it was it also. We just hugged and I cried and calmed down and then I said how aroused I felt and I wonder what its like to have sex feeling like this, so he got on top of me, WOAH, it was so sensitive and I would have orgasmed, but he was so aroused he ended up cumming. I was just in awe and appreciation for this, it did feel awesome and I loved staying in that state as long as I could. And I laughed at how this finally happened even though we have tried, hes never been with a woman before that did this and i never have, nor really had a man try to do this.

We laid in bed awhile and finally got up, no wind today and the sun is shining so we got dressed and went to the track to walk laps, we typically do that on wknds but havent since I was sick and I missed it so much. Ah felt good, came back home, made our bone broth drink and vitamins, etc. And I finished up with my arm workout, some stretches and the wave plate. We are going to try making Keto fried rice today! With cauliflower, will see how it turns out.

Now we are just on the couch watching youtube videos, hes rubbing my lower calf as I type this out.

Tried calling my youngest, he was at the store said hed call me back.

Heard via text from 2 of my siblings Happy Easter and random banter.

Time to change bed sheets, :) So its just us, I guess I wont forget what happened on Easter morning will I?