Slowly descending into madness
I feel better
I feel better. Better than I was doing for a few days. I don’t know what happened. I'm glad that pressure is getting off of my back as I'm getting done with this whole ICT presentation thing today. A new research project is going to start tomorrow. So new things are happening. I feel significantly better about everything. Also glad that haven’t been going to university for 3 days now. I also have 2 more days off. I'll bake lemon tart. Maybe cook a bit as well. Idk man, I haven’t felt so good in days.
My UTI is acting up again. So healthwise not that good. But that's not what I'm worried about. My mental state had been pretty bad. But now I feel like ok, I can kill myself later. Let's see what life has to offer.
I was helping my mom out at the kitchen and she prayed for me so all the good things happen to me. It felt nice then she stopped in the middle of praying. I asked her why she stopped. She was like, "what if god decides the best thing for you is to get married? what if you get married next year, who's going to help me in the kitchen?" I found this hilarious and I laughed a lot.
I do want to get married next year. Right after graduation. As soon as possible. I don't want to wait anymore.