Slowly descending into madness
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2022-04-16 09:40:22 (UTC)

Human analysis (1)

I work with a former crush. It’s not a news anymore. Idk what attracted me about him back in 2020 but these days I get to understand him a little bit more than ever.

He's very dorky. All he does is work, that on an insane level. Body can't take it, he gets sick. So naturally I asked him, why he doesn’t take a break. He replied, if I don't, someone else has to. This shows the amount of unnecessary sense of responsibility a person can feel.

Since we need to contact on a daily basis, I can understand what kind of human being he is. He's very normal. Like veryyyy normal. He's also very good looking so I know he used to attract a lot of women but when I started working with him I understood one thing. He doesn’t ever feel the same for them. Conversations don't interest him. More like, he's so awkward he cannot carry a conversation. Yet he had to continue talking to people, because well, networking is important here. You need to stay relevant. But at the same time, he doesn’t want any attention. He doesn’t want to be with anyone because he knows the amount of work he wants to do, it's not possible being with someone and carry it out at the same time. Honestly, this made me a sympathetic and I felt bad for him. If I knew him from the start like this, I would never have a crush on him back in 2020.

He's also very intelligent but sometimes it's hard for him to grasp some easy concepts. I wonder if most engineering students are like him. I can easily connect one thing to another and bring out the best outcome. But he, well um, he's good at what he does. When it comes to analyzing or getting to a decision, he lacks skills.

He seems like someone who wants to live alone, live with the ideas he has in his head. His main problem is he cannot stay focused. He goes for multi-tasking and messes things up. This can be because he loses interesting easily. If he wants to achieve whatever he's going after, he needs to be more grounded.

He is very simple. As simple as someone can get. Comparing to him, I have a complex mind. I think a lot and I analyze a lot. He's not like that at all. He easily forgets the simplest things, probably because of stress.

One last thing: he's very intelligent and he can be petty sometimes. Also a bit immature like most other guys, but not harmful.

Edit: he's a pushover like me. Can't say no to anyone. Because he's pretty, a lot of people approach him but he really can't just ditch and go.

This entry has absolutely no point. I love analyzing people and getting to know them better. And these days I'm getting really good at this to the point I can predict their future. This feels nice.