Melody Wright

One Strange Soul
2022-04-15 02:02:54 (UTC)

The self beneath

A vacation is working its magic when you can't tell how many days have passed and each morning you can wake up rested.

Obligation is the stress that fuels my every day life, and I am avoiding it as long as I can while I have the opportunity to do so.
So when husband sees me sitting at the kitchen table watching YouTube videos in my pajamas at noon and asks if I plan to actually do anything today, I get a bit irritated. I do things every day of my working life. I really don’t want to do anything during my time off. Actually, listening to his endless chatter is starting to get under my skin. I keep finding ways to go to my bedroom closet or drive to the store so I can have some quiet.
At one point he asked if I wanted him to shut up. I answered, "Just for a bit."
He got mad. I successfully suppressed my laughter.

So far I have been able to keep five mini tomato plants, a bell pepper plant and a bunch of cilantro alive. I've never kept a potted plant alive in my life because I either got impatient waiting for growth or I forgot I had plants altogether. Maybe my attention span is improving with age.

I even feel rested enough to get my sketch pad out and draw; I almost have the energy to withstand the disparaging remarks I'll get if I do it - remarks about how I never spend time with him. He actually takes up all my time not spent at work. It's just never enough for him.

Daughter is living with a friend because she wasn’t getting along with her dad. I let her know I understand and I don't blame her. I told her the more distance she gets from him the better her mental health will be.
She was staying around for my sake. I told her she would be helping both me and her if she builds a life of her own. The relationship I have with her father is mine to deal with, not hers.

I feel like I'm still a person underneath all the burden of life; it's good to know.




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