I Hate Middle School
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It Just Got So Much Worse
So, I was at lunch today and we were all having a good time. I even talked to Vinny a little, he looked happier than usual today so it was nice. I was zoning out with my head on my water bottle when I heard Vinny say “you look depressed.” I told him so did he 99% of the time and he said he was gunna give me a price of advice. I was intrigued so I let him go on. He told me that some people don’t want to be friends with me if I keep annoying them. Obviously referring to himself. I’ll tell you more later but I’m writing this from the school bathrooms on my phone. What do I do? I need to apologize, I’ll edit this and tell you how it goes later. Pray for me!
It’s the next period now and I did apologize. At the end of class he quickly packed up and said he was going to leave early but I stopped him for a second. I told him that I was sorry for annoying him and that I didn’t mean to upset him and he said it was alright. He didn’t seem like he was still upset but I don’t know. I asked him if he was still coming over on Friday and he is so that’s good. It went better than I expected honestly. I’m soooooo glad we’re not completely falling apart. Apologizing to him was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
After Vinny said that to me though, Olivia looked across the table at me and gave me a weird look. After that, Vinny wouldn’t even look at me. Olivia was being quiet too. After lunch it was a reward day so we got to go hang out in the gym for a while. Me and Olivia sat on the bleachers while Riley, Kiarra, and Kayla played volleyball. Vinny was across the room talking to Athena and her friends so he wasn’t really around. Once we all got situated me and Olivia decided to talk about what happened. The first thing she said was that what Vinny said was uncalled for. I was surprised she thought so but I agreed. She also said that she didn’t know it upset him that much and that if she did she would have told me but I knew that. I believe her. Every time I mess with him he never seems upset. He always smiles and laughed but this time he just snapped and got mad. What I did wasn’t even worse than usual, I just took a bruised apple slice from his plate. A bruised apple slice made him go off like that. I don’t even know what to say.
I told Olivia that I thought it was our thing to annoy each other and she agreed. It’s our whole dynamic that we annoy the shit out of each other. We’ve been doing it for FOUR YEARS! He didn’t think to tell me for FOUR YEARS! It’s just insane to me how I didn’t notice how much it bugged him. I mean, I apologized but it doesn’t feel like enough. According to Olivia he does stuff like that a lot though. He laughed and smiles like it’s a joke and he’s having fun then he just snaps and gets all angry and annoyed. I feel bad but if she agrees that there was no way for me to tell them I don’t know what to do.
After that conversation Olivia asked me if I knew about Athena and Vinny. I told her that I did and she seemed upset. Apparently Vinny just told her this morning that they were together. I told her that I’d known since that day at DQ when Athena told me and how Vinny never ended up telling me till I spilled the secret and she was surprised. I asked her if she knew when they had gotten together and she said no… great. For Vinny’s sake I probably shouldn’t have said anything but I think Olivia deserved to know so I told her. I said that Athena and him had gotten together the day he broke up with Olivia. A few hours before he broke up with Olivia actually. I also told her how unfazed Athena seemed that Vinny was technically cheating on Olivia with her and Olivia looked justifiably upset.
She told me how she was upset that two of her friends lied about being in a relationship for months. It’s kind of funny. Sounds familiar doesn’t it? It’s okay though, I don’t hold grudges. Olivia needs a good friend right now not a stick up bitch who’s hung up on the past still. I wanted to make excuses for Vinny but there really aren’t any. I know he’s going through a lot but that’s not an excuse to lie to your friends about literally everything! She was crying and cursing through the entire conversation, it sucked. I feel really bad for her, everyone’s been so stressed out lately and nobodies happy. I hope we can fix it.
The next class was alright. Me and Olivia kept exchanging sad smiles across the room but Vinny wouldn’t look at either of us. Maybe he looked at Olivia but I didn’t see him and I doubt he did. After class is when I apologized then I didn’t see him till after school. We had a drama club meet together but he didn’t talk to me the entire time. He didn’t even look at me. Half way through the meet Olivia texted me asking if I could tell him not to look at an email she ent him until after we hung out on Friday. I wondered what was so bad she could have sent but told him without any questions. After I told him Vinny just stared at me for a few seconds then went back to talking with his friends. He definitely heard me but I don’t know if he listened. It kinda hurt that he didn’t even respond but oh well.
After the meet I saw Vinny and Athena walking to their parents cars together. Athena waved at me and said hi but Vinny didn’t even acknowledge my existence. Not even for Athena. Once again, it kinda hurt, but oh well. I wouldn’t want to talk to me after that either. I guess I was wrong, he’s definitely still mad. He’s supposed to come over my house tomorrow though so we’ll see how that goes.
After school Olivia texted me. She said that Vinny was getting on her nerves lately and that he totally lied about being aroace to get her off his trail. I agree that he might have lied but I’m not sure. I don’t want to call him a liar but I honestly don’t know anymore. She said that him lying about being with Athena hurt more than learning about her horrible bio father and thats gotta feel bad. She said she feels like a crap friend and that she’s not sure wether she can keep being friends with Vinny or not. Obvious we’re going to stay friends but she said she doesn’t appreciate being friends with someone that lies to her face. Once again, sounds kind of familiar~ but I’m just pointing it out, I don’t hold grudges.
She said that she feels like he hates her and I agreed that I feel like he hates me too. I would have said something like “oh, don’t feel like that, he doesn’t hate you” but we all know it wouldn’t help. Nobody would believe it. She brought up the abortion thing again and said how much it hurt her and I agreed. Who says that to someone? I don’t know what’s up with him but that’s horrible. Not okay!
She said that when she sent the email she was super emotional and regretted sending it. She sent me the email anyways though and had me read it. It was - as promised - super emotional but accurate where it counts. She pretty much said, “when you told me that you’ve been dating Athena for months it really hurt. I feel like a crap friend and I don’t appreciate being lied to. I don’t mean to accuse you but I really thought you were going to say something meaningful, not hurtful. All I want is for my friends to be happy, trust me, and be honest with me and lately you haven’t been” then she signed it “The annoying, crappy, should have been aborted, worse than Hitler, idiot. Olivia”
Yeah, pretty good till she signed it. It’s whatever though, she’ll get over it. She said she felt bad about sending it and that she probably burned him but I told her he needed to hear it. What he said was shit, he’s been acting like shit, and he made us feel like shit. She said that Vinny’s been acting weird and distant lately and I was… confused. I thought that that’s what we’ve been talking about for weeks. After that she had to leave but I hope I didn’t make anything worse. I went on a walk with Kiarra later and apparently while we were out Vinny came over wanting to hang out but I wasn’t there so that sucks. I can’t tell if he’s mad at me or not. That brings us to now though. Wish me luck for tomorrow! Buh bye!