Slowly descending into madness
2022-04-13 14:31:34 (UTC)

Library talk/The killing joke

I met Jess today. I think I met him after half a year. We sat in the library while he was attending office meeting. He came to uni to submit his internship report.

I saw him in the hallway talking to my peers, slowly walked to him and tapped on his shoulder to ensure it really was him. Then we went to meet the faculty who is responsible for his internship defence.

I was feeling extremely sick but I had to wait for bus so I really had nowhere to go. He was sharing bits of his life while attending meeting and I was being a good listener. Then he thanked me for my suggestion (I totally forgot about that). I told him once to pile up all his write-ups and publish a short-stories book. He thanked me and said he was working on it. Then he showed posters he bought for his room.

In a way, I think we both inspired each other a lot more than any of us could ever imagine. He's a part of my fondest memories, you know memories that are so good I often don't believe that it was real at some point. Seeing him made me nostalgic about 2019 pahela Boishakh. I knew I'd miss that time but truth to be told those were my golden days. And yes, all my work activities, all that I am now, he has a great contribution to it given that he used to be the source of inspiration for me.

During the library talk, he was telling me about the new Batman movie and spiderman movie. Told him now that my sister is gone, I no longer give a flying crap about superhero movies. He was talking about the killing joke and how I should totally give it a chance and shit. That's when I remembered something.

I came back home, pulled up the old YouTube link someone once shared with me to understand him better. It was one year ago. I thought I understood the killing joke then. But now I know I didn’t understand shit back then :)) Do I get it now? Partly.

I got like 4/5 days of vacation. I'm going to give the whole thing a watch to understand the weight of it fully. May God give me a bit more power of analyzing better 🙏