Gentleman ♀

Sleepover At Olivia’s

Hi,

We finally did it! After like 3 years of trying and things getting in the way, Olivia and I finally had a sleepover. It was really fun too. I was afraid we wouldn’t know what to do at a sleepover together but it was genuinely fun for the both of us. Her house is gorgeous too. It’s bigger than I thought and there’s a color scheme of sorta and pretty furniture. It’s really nice.

The first thing we did was play with legos in her walk in closet with her little sister Nora. She’s around 3 or 4 and literally the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. After that we hung out on Olivia’s room where we talked and stuff. We looked at her Walmart People calendar and had a deep conversation that I’ll get back to later. After that we went downstairs where we played Minecraft and watched Life Of Luxury edits till we fell asleep. We slept on an air mattress cause… Olivia wanted to I guess. What was I supposed to say? No, you have a perfectly good bed upstairs? She thanked me for not saying that so I guess it was the right move.

The next morning we woke up and her dad got doughnuts for breakfast. We ate two then went to hang out with Nora downstairs. They had a ball pit in their basement and Nora was climbing on the couch cushions and jumping in. If I were little I’d have had a blast doing that, it was still fun to watch her though. She also had a little roller coaster thingy which we had her ride into an American girl doll we set up in weird positions. It was a blast.

After that we went upstairs and we did each others makeup. Olivia gave me pink eyeshadow and mascara with black eyeliner. I gave her bisexual colored eyeshadow and matching mascara. While I was doing her makeup she kept trying not to laugh but I’d say stupid stuff then jokingly yell at her for laughing just making her laugh more. Around the end of it her grandma came over and saw us doing makeup and she asked if I could do her black eyeshadow. It was a little odd but I would have done it if it weren’t for dinner being ready.

Her parents are vegan so for dinner we ate barbecue tofu, vegetables, and baked potatoes. I didn’t expect to like it but damn, tofu is sooooo good. My parents keep making fun of me for liking it since they don’t like it but it sucks to suck. They’re just jealous UuU. After dinner her grandma told us stories about her time in middleschool. Stuff like food fights, her dad embarrassing her, and learning to drive a stick shift. Olivia’s dad and her thought I was bored but I genuinely liked hearing her stories. Her grandma said she wants to take me and Olivia to Cedar Point this summer too which is nice. I like her grandma.

After that we watched some more Life of Luxury, ate some mochi, then I went home. It was really fun and I’d gladly do it again. According to Olivia, Nora was “demanding” that I come back over today so that makes me feel good. I’m glad I’m good company :).

About that deep conversation I was talking about earlier. It was mostly Vinny. I know, anyone reading these in order is totally sick of hearing about this little shit but it’s my diary and you’re the one who keep reading it so if you’re that sick of him then stop reading. Anyway, we talked about how he’s kind of a coin flip when it comes to emotions. He’s either lively, happy, bubbly, Vinny, or he’s an emotionless little shot who couldn’t care less what you’re saying to him. There’s no in between he’s either extreme happy or nothing. She said once in class she was showing him memes and for one of them he just said mhm and look annoyed and the other he burst out laughing. It kinda scares us in the sense that you never know how he’s gunna feel. It’s a risk anytime you interact with him because you either get that happy bubbly Vinny (which is just a burst of serotonin honestly) or a look equivalent of “get the hell out of my face you useless speck of dust” which makes you feel like a kicked puppy. Like you’re this tiny being just trying to make him happy and he just rammed his foot into you and told you to go away. It’s stressful.

Another thing we talked about concerning him was the fact that he tends to change the subject when things get too deep. Like when he talked about weird shaped strawberries in the middle of me asking why he didn’t tell me he and Olivia were dating or, Olivia said, when she was telling him about her cutting in fourth grade. I’ll explain more with the second one but seriously, you don’t change the subject on that sort of stuff. It makes everyone feel like their being too emotional and we all feel like shit.

The Olivia thing though, I guess one day she emailed him asking to talk to him at breakfast. He asked her what it was and she said they needed to talk about it in person. Vinny said they should just email about it and Olivia told him never mind. Then Vinny did something I’ve never seen before and he told her he knew his friends and there was obviously something bothering her so he agreed to meet up at breakfast. It was really sweet and even if it wasn’t with me I was honestly happy he was being emotionally open with someone but it turns out that at breakfast they ended up taking for only like three minutes while walking to breakfast and Olivia didn’t even get to say what she wanted to say. While she was fumbling over her words, looking for the right thing to say, Vinny ended up walking over hand hanging out with his drama club friends before Olivia finished. Then when Olivia tried to ask him to meet up again he just sent her a picture of his bird and ended the conversation. That little shit chickened out. He can’t be that stupid right? He showed her that he was aware something was wrong so he really just chickened out. Damn.

Something else we talked about was Vinny’s other friends. He has so many other friends and he looks so happy with them all the time and me and Olivia both feel like we’re bad friends compared to them or something. Like, why does he always seem bubbly with them but he does his uninterested thing with us? Are we not fun anymore? Is there something we’re doing wrong? Is he mad at us? I just can’t figure it out and neither can she so we both are just going in circles. Plus we both confessed that we feel like the other is closer to Vinny than we are. I assured her we’re all equally friends though and she did the same for me so at least that’s cleared up. I think we both needed to hear that from each other.

And the last thing I brought up was the fact that our friend group is fucked. I told her I wasn’t sure if anyone else had noticed it, but our entire friend group has horrible anxiety and maybe even depression and nobody talks about it whatsoever. All we do is joke about it and it does nothing to help anyone. I told her that I wished everyone was more open with each other and she agreed. I think we’re both trying to get closer with Vinny and make him open up but he just won’t. I mean, he’s more open with her than he is with me but he hasn’t even fully opened up to her yet. At this point, even if I’m jealous of it, I’d rather him open up to her than nobody. Better her than nobody in ky opinion. Plus, she’d tell me anyway. She’s better at getting people to open up but I’m better at figuring out information.

I think maybe we should work together to get him to do SOMETHING emotional, even if it’s just once. Be open for once. I’m thinking… I’ll ask her if it’s alright, then I’ll tell Vinny that he should ask Olivia about that thing she tried to tell him at breakfast. Nothing too sappy, just me telling him that it’s important to her or that she’s upset or something. I’ll tell him to make sure he listens and then he’ll reschedule with her and they’ll talk about it. Simple, easy, effective. It’s just a thought and it probably wouldn’t even work but I like the sound of it. Maybe I’ll ask Olivia tomorrow, who knows?

Kind of off topic but I feel like I have to put this in here, my cat Gentleman’s gone. The one I named myself after on here. We haven’t seen him all day and he’s never gone for this long and I’m scared he might have died or something. I’ll talk more about it next time but I just want my kitty back. I hope to god or whoever ms out there that he gets back home safe and alive. I don’t think I can stand him dying on me. Especially this early in his life. I gotta go now but I’ll write again soon. :’(

~ Gentleman