no name
2022-04-07 09:51:51 (UTC)


I want to kill myself. Lol.
No cuz I was looking at these pictures of myself that I had deleted.
And I had multiple different expressions in each and the urge to end my life for the amount of shame I feel as a result of living in this body was overwhelming for those seconds.
It’s humiliating really, being subjected to even just my own judgement, but to know that I might have to face that if others if I’m noticed? I want to kill myself. My pride? Up here 🔝, my insecurity is right up there with it, it seems.

So all that I can do, is pretend that I have no face, never look at a photo of myself, don’t look in the mirror (I’m sick this is sickening, I’d rather throw up I mean die than continuing living in this), wear clothes that aren’t flattering nor showing my body off, and eat less. And contemplate my method of eventual suicide.

On another note, I have a sandwich at home that I can eat. That with water. Water. Water. Homework. Naps. Reading. Sleep.
All at home is bliss.
School is hell.
Not because I’m better than anyone. Not that I’m worse either. Just can’t bear to recognize that I’m a fudging insecure loser. So suck it up and finish the fudging day so I can go home mf🫰😘kys