Gentleman ♀

Why's He Even Lying About This?

Hi,

So, it's 2nd period now and I swear to god I'm already stressed out. Not much, I just think it's funny. Wyatt, Vinny, Olivia, and I were walking down to our next classes and I noticed Vinny was walking funky. I thought he was joking around though. I don't know why that'd be funny but he's a weird kid, he does weird stuff sometimes. But then he said that his ankle hurt on one leg and his knee hurt on the other. Said his legs always hurt a little, he turned it into a joke but wonder what that could be(Edit from later: he mentioned his arm hurting too and joked he was falling apart). I asked him how the hell he managed to do that and he said running then changed his mind to laser tag. I almost believed him but he wasn't limping like that yesterday. Like seriously, you don't limp that bad from running around four days ago. I get that it was a bitch of a workout but you don't limp more as your muscles heal. Now I want to know what he really did. And why would he lie about it? (I know what you might be thinking and I severely doubt that that's it... I guess you can never be too sure though... >M<) I wonder.

Now it's 8th period and guess what? You guessed it, I'm even more stressed than before. Yay. It's not even for a good reason either! Like, air testing is tomorrow and the next day then I also have detention tomorrow and the next day and I'm completely fine with those yet I'm stressed about guitar practice. Well, it's not directly because of guitar practice but it's related. See, earlier today we were chilling in language arts before the bell rang and Vinny wasn't paying attention so I stole his calculator. I figured it was no big deal since it was language arts so he wouldn't need it and I was going to give it back at the end of class anyway but to my surprise, he looked kinda pissed. Maybe not pissed, but he didn't seem happy. Either way, he was giving me a look and motioning for me to bring his stuff back. I would have but the teacher was in the room and everybody knows you don't walk across the room in the middle of class. I gave it back to him around 2/3 the way through class while returning papers but he had no response whatsoever. I hate it. Why can't I do anything right? He was probably doing his math homework or something and I ruined it. I was just thinking that since he stole my coffee yesterday that I'd get him back but whatever. I don't know why I even try.

After class, I met up with him at his desk and asked him if he wanted to walk up to the gas station after school. We have maps testing tomorrow so I figured we could get some hard candies to focus with. I thought his legs hurt but he agreed to anyway so that's cool. I just feel bad because what if he feels like he has to? He was noticeably limping so I doubt he'd be up for much of a walk let alone a 4.4 mile total walk to the gas station and back. I feel like an asshole for even asking. But either way, we agreed that I'd have my mom text his after school. And even then, I forgot I have guitar from 5:30-6:00 so that's nice. I guess sunset is at 7:30 though so it's not the worst thing ever.

It's after school and after guitar now and I guess Vinny couldn't go because his mom's not home. I guess it’s for the best anyway since he’d 100% be complaining about his legs the whole time. I’m kidding about that obviously, but I really do think it’s for the best. I feel like such a sucky friend. Nothing I do is ever right. I know I said this last entry but I always mess something up. I say too much or I say too little or I fuck it up some other way. My friends deserve so much better than me and I just want to apologize for even existing but I know they’d think I was being dramatic or something. I guess that’s pretty much what I’m doing though. Dramatic…

I hate that word. I hate the concept. I think 99% of the time if you’re feeling anything distressing it needs to be addressed. No matter how overreacting it is, you’re still feeling it. And if you’re really feeling it then it can’t be fake right? Right. Even bad emotions like jealousy and anger are real, whether it’s too much or not they’re still feeling overly angry so it deserves to be talked about and dealt with just like any other valid emotion. Now if there’s no way in hell or otherwise that they’ll hear anyone else’s side then maybe you can be rude but if it can be dealt with, it should be dealt with. There's no such thing as invalid, just uncooperative. I'm gunna go now but I'll write again soon. Buh bye!

~ Gentleman