Slowly descending into madness
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2022-04-04 23:00:56 (UTC)

It's 5 am my eyes are ..

It's 5 am my eyes are fucking swollen from crying. I forgot when was the last time I got some sleep. Studying is not worth it because my mids results will be horrible as fuck. What's the goddamn point of anything

I've been having panic attacks. I only have one reason to have panic attacks. I often tell people that I have nothing to lose. It’s not true. I have people to lose. I'm scared because he's not responding. Everytime that happens I automatically think that I've lost him. How do you even deal with loss like that? I'm so scared. I want to call but I shouldn’t. What if he's just taking a break, he'll be back? And when I call I'll just wake him up or sth. I'm so scared. I don’t want to lose him.

আমি নিজেই মনে হয় প্যানিক করতে করতে মারা যাব।