Cyle

A quiet normal life (as if!
2022-03-29 20:59:51 (UTC)

Annoyed with herself, for caring about me

Packed and ready to roll, I think. Will have a shower and a shave tomorrow then hit the road. I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, but I’ve another day to hopefully remember whatever it is. Went over to home to print out the tickets. I left them in work (typical) but I managed to print everything out today. The check in to the hostel could be the biggest issue. I’ll give them a call tomorrow and spin some story about the flight being put back. I’ll see how set in stone the 11.30 check in is. If they are gonna be painful about it then I’ll stay with Courteney. She is being cool about it so unless she lives in the middle of fucking nowhere things should be fine.
I think things will work out. Given the relatively limited amount of time I have, I’ve prepared well. There was some late drama with the venue requiring covid certs, but it looks like they’ll take the EU cert. I’ve copies printed and if I’m careful with my phone battery things should be fine.
Eva wants to queue all day. She is talking about heading down at 5am. I’ll get some breakfast then join her. I’d love to get front row, but it’s not a big deal. I don’t think the other girls are down for queueing for that long. I haven’t asked them to be honest. Hopefully nothing fucks this up. It would be nice for things to go well for a change.
Work is alright. I’m playing the game politically and it seems to be working for now. No more of that, as CJ said.
Ireland beat Lithuania. Had the ball in the net 4 times, but won one nil with a 92nd minute goal. I really want Kenny to succeed, so it’s hard to watch. Need to be careful.
Munster have Leinster this weekend. Conway is out and Kleyn, Beirne, Haley and Zebo are all seriously doubtful. We haven’t a prayer.
Need a good day tomorrow and a decent nights sleep tonight. Lots to get through tomorrow then try to put it behind me, for 31 hours at least.
Got a few messages over the last couple of days from Vera. She is still as bitter as ever, but at least she responded. She got a bit giddy about loving the new album (which I really need to listen to) and sent me a message. I’m sure she regrets it already.
As usual we met through the 2 lads. She’s the Polish girl with the very un-Polish name. She was shy, nervous and embarrassed. Kept counting the number of shoes she was wearing. She’d heard the others talk about me and we got on well. Too well probably. She let her guard down immediately, and as I found out later, that’s very unlike her. I arranged tickets for her to a show in Mexico through Mary and she gushed about me. Mary brought her back down to earth fast. The truth hurts sometimes. Years later and she is still sour about it. We’ve spoken sporadically since, but less and less. She is very proper and has high expectations. The fact that she briefly cared about a commoner like me is something between embarrassing and infuriating for her. She wants someone well to do, well dressed and very proper. Good wavy hair is important too. I like her dress sense. Casual dresses but nothing scandalous, mostly. Look, she’s as repressed as you’ll come across. She wants to be bad and let herself go, but that’s not gonna happen. She is still young and I think things will work out for her. She’ll meet someone who ticks the boxes and document it all online. I thought we’d lost her completely last year, but she is creeping back in it seems. She’s really annoyed with me though. Actually, I take that back. She’s annoyed with herself, for caring about me. There was never going to be anything between us. The rod up her ass has a rod up it’s ass, and that would never do me in the medium to long term. I hope she stays around with us and I hope she softens towards me in due course. She is painful enough though when she stiffens her upper lip, and I’m too old to be dealing with that shit. I’m interested to see if she’ll be around in November. If she is then hopefully we’ll spend some time together. I won’t lose any sleep if we don’t. I do think she’ll drop some of the tiresome cynicism and become who she really is. She reminds me in many ways of Fionnuala. Putting up fences and walls of cynicism then wondering why nobody is interested. The difference is Vera has much more under the service than Fionnuala does. She could be amazing, she’s probably gonna stay stiff instead though. We’ll drift out of correspondence soon. There’s no future for us. Hopefully she keeps the pictures coming on Instagram though. That’s enough for me.
I’ll try to keep this up on my short travels. If not then I’ll update (probably, if it goes well I will anyway) when I get back. It’ll depend on the practicalities. It’s the practicalities that’ll kill you.
Slán go fóill.




Ad: