Slowly descending into madness
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2022-03-28 15:15:54 (UTC)

Dye lasts more than love

This entry is written in a state of pure vengeance.

I just saw a post, "people who barely gets loved, love the hardest". Reminded me of a friend, we'll call her pumpkin who would share this kind of stuff. Her love is more temporary than my hair dye. And my dye lasted more than one year so honestly, hair dye - 1, Pumpkin's love for anyone - 0.

However I don’t want to call her a friend, just don't want to insult the term "friend"

I don’t like her. But on her face, I can never tell her that. It’s annoying when I have to reply I love you to the statement "I love you". I know she doesn’t mean it. And I definitely don't mean it.

I give a person tons of chances before I try to distance myself. I tried it with her, everytime I did that, she tried to shower me with love. And I felt trapped. I no longer want to stay friends with her. She did a lot of things I am still angry about but I never was upfront to her about it. If she doesn’t understand it, she doesn’t understand it. Here's the list of things she did to offend me-

* Was rude to me in front of her friends back in '19, never apologised for it.

* Leaked girl's group chat screenshots to seniors to demonize me, never admitted it

* was never appreciative of my goddamn efforts.

* always preferred people who were living close to her.

* last but not the least, bitch gave two books because I like reading. It's true I like reading, but now of certain genres. I will also read books to understand someone when they suggest me their favourite books. Now what she gave me was "everything is fucked', a fucking book about fucking hope. Sweetheart, the only way I live my life is by hoping that good things are near. I don't need a self help book for it wtf. I kinda took offence on it not going to lie.

* the never changing attention seeking habit. I'm tired of it.

* constantly promoting herself as the kindest and sweetest person but somehow no one likes her. I swear, the people who preach empathy are the worst.

* constantly telling me I love you at the end of conversation, nope, you don’t. That's okay. Telling me that you love me is not okay.

* she fakes everything. Every single thing. And it's annoying asf.

* Brings up her father's death to escape any sort of situation when being held accountable for something to gain sympathy. Another friend of mine said and I quote, " If I were her father, I'd come back to life, slap her hard and kill myself". This was the darkest thing I've ever heard 😭

* I have to be nice to her even when all I want to do is avoid her, otherwise she starts throwing a fit. And it wastes my time.

Okay ranting is over. My annoyance knows no bound today. Mostly because I haven’t finished my work yet. So I'm mad at other people.