Slowly descending into madness
2022-03-17 07:20:15 (UTC)

Edibles - what I felt

It's not possible for me to be in a sober state. When I first got high, I understood for the first time why they do drugs. It’s a beautiful escape.

I did edibles. At first I was very happy. Then when it finally started hitting me, I felt like my face was melting. I felt like I had a stroke. After that, I started seeing him. Vision after vision after vision. All good things, so beautiful. And so addictive. My reality isn’t that pretty. He doesn’t spend time with me in reality. He fucking left me in reality. He wants me to kill myself in real life. So I liked being high. It felt extremely good, it was nice. I don't ever want to be sober.

After that I uncontrollably laughed. Nah I didn’t make out with anyone or do anything i didn’t want to do. I think weed intensifies everything you feel. So when you're suppressing a certain emotion, it get expressed.

When it finally started to wear off, it felt bad. Like I was feeling dizzy and annoyed with everything.

I liked it. But problem is weed is giving me acne. I never had pimple problems, now my right cheek is ruined.

For someone who doesn’t want to live any longer, acne problems is the last thing to worry about tbh. So what if my corpse looks a bit ugly? Meh.