Gentleman ♀

Shrek The Musical - Day 2

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA,

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDD!!! THOSE FUCKING SCHOOL KIDS (at the school performance) BOOED THE ENTIRE TIME!!! I am so pissed right now you have no idea! I literally want to bash someones head in. We did this food drive thing in between pods (groups of students who rotate teachers) and whatever pod collected the most food for each grade won a free Shrek The Musical performance during school hours. WELL, THESE LITTLE ASSHOLES BOOED THE ENTIRE SHOW!!! I couldn't see it because makeup crew and the costume weren't allowed to watch but half of the cast came back with tear streaks running down their makeup and/or tears in their eyes. At first, I thought everyone was joking but no, it's completely true!

THESE BITCHES. MADE VINNY. CRY!!! I'M GUNNA FUCKING KILL THEM!!! YOU DO NOT MAKE MY FRIENDS CRY, YOU DO NOT MAKE MY MAKEUP PEOPLE CRY, YOU DO NOT MAKE MY CAST CRY!

What the fuck is wrong with people? That show is 75 minutes long at least, HOW FUCKED IN THE HEAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO SPEND AN ENTIRE 75 MINUTES BOOING KIDS WHO PUT MONTHS OF HARD WORK INTO SOMETHING FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!?!?!? I hate people so much.

I’ll say it again, those bitches. Made Vinny. Cry. I don’t care if we’re frenemies or whatnot, you DO NOT make my friend cry! Seriously! And recently he’s not even like a friend anymore! Not like that, get your head out of the clouds. He’s like a bother, really. I’ve known him for 5 years and every year we just get closer. After the show when we got to eat I sat next to him at lunch and he still had tears in his eyes. The whole makeup crew gave him a hug but I kinda missed it so I gave him a hug after. It was a bit awkward but not too bad. I asked him “Vinny” but he didn’t hear me so I had to say it again then I asked “can I give you a hug” TUT. He said yes though and we did a funky side hug that was almost awkward but not quite. In the auditorium, I sat next to him and he was literally ripping out his hair and chewing on his nails the entire time. Me, trying to be a good friend, kept telling him to stop it but it only helped so much. I let him use my worry stone for a bit but be gave it back (just to bite his nails again mind you). I feel stupid acting like I really care about him. I do care, I care so much, but I never really show it. He doesn’t deserve to be booed whatsoever, I know how sappy it sounds but he (along with the rest of the cast) put so much effort into this and they all did amazing. They deserve so much better.

Oooooo a few minutes ago I had a great idea. I had one of the Dulocs go and ask Vinny if he likes gummy bears (so that he hopefully wasn’t suspicious of me lol) then when she came back and said yes I texted my mom. Long story short, now she’s going up to the store and me and Vinny get gummy bears UuU. It feels good being a half-decent friend, I just hope I don’t make it awkward giving it to him. I’m overthinking it too much anyway, I need to take a chill pill.

I'm starting this paragraph after I got home fyi. Soooooo we didn't get the gummy bears today so that kinda ruined my plan but we have another 2 performances tomorrow at 2 and 5 so I still have my chance. I overthink things so much, I hate it. Should I just be like "here have some gummy bears" and hand him the bag? I guess that would be kinda out of the blue though. I could probably give him some short speech about how amazing he is and whatnot and give him the gummy bears but that'll probably be awkward so no... I'm thinking of maybe just being like "I was gunna give this to you as a 'sorry today sucked' gift but instead, I took so long it became a 'hurray today went amazing' gift". Yeah probably a mixture of short speech, sarcastic comment, and maybe a little (or a lot) of anger too. Why am I overthinking this so much? It's Vinny, no need to rehearse, as long as I be me it'll be fine. Plus he already knows that I have a surprise for him so he'll be expecting it.

One more thing before I go. What the fuck is going on between me and Vinny? Once again, not like that, get your head out of the clouds, I just cant tell if I'm I'm losing him or we're getting closer. Personally, I'm 100% ready to be closer but I don't know if that’s gunna happen. I know I'm being dramatic but this is my diary so deal with it. I'm so fucking jealous of his 593974349 other friends that it's ridiculous. He's only known these people for like a few months and he's not even close with them but they give eachother hugs and talk to each other all the time. I've known him for 5 years and hang out with him almost every day but I can barely ask for an awkward side hug without dying. My brain is fried and my guts are mush. I feel exhausted and like shit both emotionally and physically. He and all his other friends have such good chemistry and their personalities fit together so perfectly that it bugs me so much. Even when I literally sit with him at lunch and have classes with him and sit in the auditorium with him sometimes I still get so jealous every time he's not talking with me. It's so pathetic and unreasonable that I want to rip my hair out. On the other side though, me and him are still talking with each other and joking like regular. It's just that I established myself as the frenemies and I feel like that means no hugs, no emotions, and no being soft. I know it's all in my head but I plan to change that. I need to be better.

Quick note, I was pissed so I wrote a formal angry email to my principal. My mom even said it was better than her formal angry email. There's a Facebook revolt going on and everything. Lots of angry parents and probably a handful or two of angry students as well. I'll post the email as my next entry. Before reading remember, I'm 13 and angry so sorry if it's not the best. Wish me luck!

~ Gentleman