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2022-03-06 16:13:38 (UTC)

Slice 💪

Why put effort into developing a personality for people when you could just read fanfiction and sleep all day

Genuine question.
Saw a pinterest post abt a someone calling themself a gamer and the questions and statements they received afterwards were dumb.
People give me the ‘ick’. Never thought I’d actually use that. But it’s fitting. This one adult at church grabbed at my fudging headphones like wtf is wrong with you. First of all keep your fudging hands to yourself idk where tf they’ve been and that’s why I fudging wiped my headphones off aftwards. Second of all, who tf do you think you are? You’re not even a part of my immediate family OR extended family that go to my church. Third of all, die. Go die. Did I even give off the impression that I’d wanted to talk to anyone? NO SO WHY TF WOULD YOU TOUCH MY BELONGING WHCIH IS ESSENTIALLY AN EXTENSION OF MYSELF YOU WEIRDO FUDGING HUMAN.

Can’t even complain to anyone because no one in this family actually takes me seriously. I would bet money that my parents would just say he was being friendly and brush it off while my sister would tell me to ignore it because they’re old (fudging disgusting). I’m so done with those people. So fudging done. I’m sorry God but these people are trying me and I’m just about ready to clock somebody.

ah yes personalities. I’m gonna eat a candy bar and read.

I cut my arm up a bit on purposedent. Not like any of it matters much at this point. I wish I could climb out of this skin suit. Maybe if I open a wound wide enough I’ll actually escape and maybe that’s just a messed up metaphor for dying. Regardless, I’ve lost a bit more of the fondness I had for my parents. I love them but I don’t like them, just as they don’t like me. Not like I want to be liked.
I wish I were liked for who I am and how I feel rather than my potential. They love the version of me that they want to build, not me.

I think social isolation (in a literal but not physical sense) is taking a toll on me. It’s fine though. Well no it’s not. But minding my business and sleeping from here onward seems like a surefire way of maintaining a bearable state of living until my death.

To anyone who reads this, dry chicken is gross.

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