Gentleman ♀

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AAAAAAA OMGWHATAMIGUNNADOOOOO?!?!?!

Hey,

So umm, you know how I haven't talked to my friend Avery in months? No? I figured. I'll tell you about it now to catch you up. So Avery has pretty much been my best friend since 3rd grade. We're in late 7th now so that's almost 5 years! Wow... Well at the beginning of this year she switched schools causing us to talk a lot less. We still talk every once in a while though, just not a lot recently. She's always been the dramatic type. That's not always a bad thing but it's had its rough patches. She and my other good friend Olivia got into an argument about a boy (who was ALSO a good friend of mine!) and kept trying to get me to pick sides, she's faked having a boyfriend a few times, and she generally can be obsessive and annoying. I don't mind it too much but it can get overwhelming. I stay out of it but I'll admit, I like to get the scoop from her every once in a while. She also had/has (?) a crush on my other best friend Kiarra and she totally used me to get closer to her! She sat with me and my friends at lunch instead of her friends to "talk to me" but just talked to Kiarra the ENTIRE time! -.-

Either way, we started drifting apart a bit and that was alright with me. We're still friends and we were trying our best. But then I figured out that she's been texting Kiarra (another one of my best friends) almost daily! Don't get me wrong, she can text whoever she wants whenever she wants, I don't usually mind. But on top of that when I finally tried to talk with her she COMPLAINED ABOUT HER BREAKUP, TOLD ME I WASN'T HELPING HER FEEL ANY BETTER, THEN ASKED ME ABOUT KIARRA!!! Like, bitch, I came here to talk about me and you not Kiarra! Wtf! I'll admit I was/am totally jealous but whatever. I can't let something that stupid get to me, we're just kids. No point in getting all worked up over someones obsessive crush. Kiarra doesn't even like Avery anyways and it kinda makes me feel bad for her. Both of them, really. Avery does whatever she can to get closer to Kiarra but Kiarra just finds everything she does more and more annoying. It's almost poetic in a way. And its so obvious that I managed to figure it out with the only context being that Avery liked Kiarra in 6th grade and Kiarra saying she finds Avery annoying.

But plot twist (lol), while I was still trying to figure out how I feel about the whole 'Avery totally still having a crush on Kiarra and low-key using me' thing, my mom tells me that Avery's inviting me to go on an all-expenses-paid week-long vacation to Florida with her and I only have a few days to figure out if I'm going or not! Like, ouch, my brain! And yeah that sounds awesome but its not that simple. Thats 7 days, just my friend, her family, me, and my horrible social anxiety. All in one (or maybe two but I'm not sure) small hotel room! I've also got the fact that Avery's family is super-wealthy. Her dad owns 2 apartment complexes, a contracting business, and her mom works for the government! They go out to all these fancy restaurants all the time and I'm so poor compared to them. My entire house could literally fit into a room in her basement! No fucking joke! I'm not embarrassed of my families money, we're getting by just fine, but I have no clue how to act or what to wear at a place like that! I dont even own a dress, mostly because I don’t like them, or a white collared shirt! I can barely pay for skittles at the gas station without having a mental break down, how am I supposed to order my own food!

Along with that, I also have all sorts of scars all over my face, back, and chest! We’re going to Florida, so we’ll be swimming a ton! There’s no hiding that! What are they gunna think of me! Bright red skin picking marks everywhere and cuts on both shoulders, I’m gunna look like an idiot! I really want to go but I’ve never been away from home that long let alone a plane trip away with someone else’s family. My mom already told them I can go and it’s not until June so I have a while to build my courage… that’s also a lot of time to overthink it and stress about it too though… OUGH! I hate my brain! I’m gunna go overthink this some more. I’ll write again soon!

~Gentleman