Slowly descending into madness
2022-02-24 09:04:39 (UTC)

Weakling and the stars

Here's the thing about nervous breakdowns. You don’t really know what's causing it. You just know it hurts. For me it's at least 80% physical pain. I go through a lot at the time. I choke I panic I can feel my feet getting cold, my heart beating out of my chest. And when I'm on the edge I can feel a sharp pain in my chest and in my belly. It hurts. It feels like someone is sawing me into halves. I can feel the blood soaking my bed sheet, except it's only in my head. I wanna paint about it, I never have the time. I have a few memories I'm very fond of when I'm breaking into pieces.

However on a positive note, I had a really good time 3 days ago. I went up on the rooftop, I sang fly my to the moon ghostly while watching the stars and the sky was clear in a very long time. There was no moon but the stars were visible even in my eyes with power of -7.5. I wish to have more good times like this.