Tati

in a fire, preferably

19:25 the argument is that because i can’t change my face, no matter how much i attempt to exercise or starve, i’ll always be ugly anyways. bc i can’t change the shape of my face or the masculinity vs femininity ratio or any of my genetics and resulting facial features. can’t change my sex, the amount of hair i produce, or the Quality of my skin (at least not easily). so i should just give up. and it’s really a curse. not on me and not my body because i am my body and my body is me. my expressions, the way my thoughts translate to physically. it’s a curse for me. it’s an unfortunate reality of MINE. I’d say i’m vain but i believe anyone with a face, or body like mine would feel the same. i didn’t ask for this.
and the fact that i’m forced to go out in the midst of people to look better than me is evil. bad on them. they should feel bad.
if i end up looking better as an adult i’m gonna kill myself because what the actual fudge kinda crap is that.
i’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time obsessing over the disgustingness of my body just to end up looking good when nothing even matters anymore? go die.

OH YEAH and i’m done with a03. genuinely. can’t deal with that at all. not interested. no more time travel stories to interest me either. manga always feels temporary now. not something i’d spend a lot of time doing. i guess the stories were more interesting for me because it made me imagine what the stories looked like so now, reading manga makes me mind feel underworked. not very fun.
anime is boring for me, attention span to short.
movies are only soemthing i can do when i’m too sad to leave my bed.

binging shows isn’t fun when i’m still not sad enough to stay in my bed a whole day. so.

idk. watching streamers or random playthroughs, etc. isn’t fun for me anymore. just not interested. don’t wanna draw, very unsatisfying, don’t wanna sing, dumb for me. don’t wanna dance (same as singing) or work, always boring.

don’t wanna eat, dumb thing to do. don’t wanna drink, well i kinda do but like, it’s not gonna be water so def dumb to do.
don’t wanna try grinding in a game bc that’s boring for me.

what am i gonna do man.
AAAAAw man i wish i had some passion.