La Flaca

Las Tortugas y Yo
2022-01-27 15:14:39 (UTC)

Polygamy

Growing up in a fundamentalist Mormon community has its good and bad things, it really depends on who you ask about this matter. For me, it took a long time to understand my father's second marriage, first and mostly because of the way he married, without my mother's consent and hidden from his first family. I was only 5 years old if I remember correctly at the time, so by the time all the drama from my side of the family had gone by I began to put the pieces together and realized my dad had done something that appeared very bad. Well in the beliefs that my father was brought up in, you need the first wife's blessing and approval before getting married into polygamy. My father probably doubted my mother's blessing and decided to get married without her knowing about it in till after he was back from his honeymoon. So my older sisters were even more upset than my mom and couldn't even see my dad's second wife, needless to say, once things were cleared and worked out between the adults, at one point we all had to live under the same roof, while my father built a second house for my mom to live in, this period, however, was big chaos and a lot of arguing, is only natural for the spouses to get jealous between the attention my father would give to any of them, a little childish if you ask me, but that just how it was. Good thing we had a newer and bigger house to move into, and everyone was happy again, or at least us children where we had a bigger yard and lots of trees to play around with. This part of my childhood I remember being very happy and living next to my grandparents, oh, well that was the cherry on top. I never judged my parents yet tried to understand where they were coming from. They both grew up during some very hard times in their families, with so many struggles, yet managed to grow up and find each other. Raise 8 children from my mom, 4 from his second wife, 1 more from his 3erd wife, yes he was married 3 times in all. also had 2 more children with 2 other different women out of wedlock. So yes my father was quite the man, but every moment I shared with him all treasure always. loved him dearly. And I miss him every day. He died at age 49 and only got to meet 6 of his now 43 grandchildren. So even though to other people this might seem a little outreaches, I'm blessed to have these loving wonderful siblings and a lot of nieces and nephews that I adore. I always said I did not want to get married within my community as 6 of my siblings did, I was lucky enough to stay away from their beliefs, there is nothing wrong with them I just never identified my beliefs with theirs. So I found someone who shares my faith and does not believe in plural marriage. And I got back to my home town once in a while, I miss the vivid way and passionate way people in my hometown are. Very competitive also. Yet I found my home with my husband and children here, the place where I got to build my own heart and faith. So when I say if I've been able to heal all the hurts from my past and help my family heal as well, well that's a win-win in my book.




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