Gone mental

Notes from my Black
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2022-01-27 05:03:16 (UTC)


An old word used in a different way with different context. She wrote me a text recently about my having cleaned the shower. It turned her on? My doing cleaning isn’t new or different. It’s not an anomaly but She uses this type of moment to make a deal out of something. She thinks she’s being sweet by pointing out an absurd point in time and highlighting it like it is a bigger deal.

So cookies to Her for making out like serving up sweetness is genuine. An extra sarcastic cheer for the frigid woman who banished me for a decade and all the sudden finds a liquid stream for the domesticated fool. Me. Go nub yourself, my life is already slated permanently with quite literally nothing.

There is a famous couple that coined the phrase consciously uncoupling when they divorced. She has found the word useful on a few occasions. More recently the word was used to reflect back on when we were a couple. That series of moments requires a bit of a memory. It’s been far too long and I haven’t lived in that delusion for quite a long decade.

Uncoupled, indeed. It would be so much easier if I were asexual. I can imagine the life I would live… it would be five steps to the left and completely parallel it would. My offspring would not exist and life would be much less. I’m grateful for them. I miss the days that they would steal peas off my plate and I would pretend to not notice.