miss mess

midlife implosions
2022-01-18 22:46:53 (UTC)

stepping out of my box

since my husband and i had our conversation about "working on us" this year, neither of us has made any attempt to DO anything. it really is very difficult to be the one to take that first step. i figure we are both constantly thinking about all this. i figure we are both waiting for the other to make that first step.

well, i said this year was my year of ACTION. i said i was going put action behind the thoughts that are things i say i want. so i bit the bullet and asked him out for a date. sounds weird i know. but we never go anywhere alone. we avoid that at all costs, because, well....we mostly avoid each other at all costs. we go out every friday, but it is with friends. we drink and socialize and dance and have a good time, but we mostly are engaging with the others who are there. so THIS date...will be us alone. and we will go this thursday nite. and i'm hoping big time, that he can come up with something as far as an effort on his part while we are out alone together, but we'll see. i said i would try...but i will not be the only one trying.

he used to take me on some wonderful dates. and he was fun. of course, this is before the world came crashing down on us in so many ways. but still...i know it's in him. i know it's in me. i just don't know if we want it.

in any case...i made the first step with a conversation about us. and now i've taken another step to get us out on what i purposely said to him was "a date". we'll see what happens.




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