Insights on Edibles
I took some THC gummies last night. And a lot of shit really clicked while on it. Naturally I am very numb. More or less dead inside-so to say. I don't feel much because of health issues, years of depression, trauma etc. But when I took it I suddenly felt capable of feeling more extreme emotions love, grief, somehow had a sex drive etc. At some point it became overwhelming. But feeling these things made me have a realization that being every emotion and function is 100% rooted back to a chemical reaction in the brain. And all of our realities are simply our perception based on what chemical reaction our brain has. Two people could experience that exact same event/stimuli and have completely different emotions and reactions towards it due to differing brain chemistry.
The reason traumatized people have trouble experiencing love is because they weren't conditioned to feel it. For example I grew up in an abusive home and the way my parents presented themselves in public was the polar opposite of what happened behind closed doors. Eventually my brain became subconsciously wired to not trust or indulge in people who were bubbly and lovey dovey, my brain stopped releasing good chemicals (dopamine or whichever?) in response to loving energy a long long time ago; which explains why now it all feels fake and stupid. Now when someone shows love to me, even if it is genuine on their behalf I usually cannot feel it. Even if I want to because my brain just does not produce the right chemicals in response, so I feel nothing. The exception of this is when I'm under the influence of a substance or drunk (another substance). Hence proving its all chemical. Which also explains why traumatized people turn to drugs to enjoy life. Because their brains no longer naturally produce the normal happy relaxed chemicals in response to life so they need the drugs/artificial way to compensate.
Being in fight or flight long enough will deplete your body chemically of adrenaline and good chemicals needed to function and bond with people. Your brain develops in childhood so it is incredibly hard to rewire later in life. As well as why they become hyperaware of threats even shit that isn't actually a threat. Your brain interprets the slightest comment as a threat and outputs a spike cortisol and stress hormones in response as a protective mechanism. After awhile this becomes natural and subconscious even when there is no longer any actual real threat. Which explains why abused people have trouble letting anyone in. They physiologically perceive everyone around them as a threat by involuntary spikes in cortisol. Sometimes even lash out back at them not caring how this affects the other person. In a way this is a survival instinct the chemicals firing in their brain cause them to prioritize their own well being over whatever person they are interacting with. As well as perceive the other person as a threat/enemy. In the presence of a real threat this would be the logical way to react.
If you analyze criminals and serial killers it explains why so many suffered wildly abnormal abusive childhoods. Not to justify their actions, but outside people always comment why can't they just move on or get over it? You can try to but its incredibly hard to integrate back into society when your brain wrongly perceives almost everyone as a threat and all kindness as fake or a trap. Logically you may know better, but we, as humans don't react on logic, we react on emotion. This has been studied. Our actions are just reflexes to whatever chemical reaction is happening in that moment in our brains. Which begets the question: how much free will do we actually have? The good thing is if you become aware of this, you can attempt to monitor what your brain is feeling, try to put it to the side and just do the logical thing instead. Like I try to do as much as I can, but at which point it just becomes like going through the motions and you don't enjoy shit anymore. Which explains why so many traumatized people kill themselves. People say why can't they just move on and live life? The answer is they can, but their brains don't have the capacity to output the right chemicals to enjoy life anymore so it doesn't matter.
Also explains why people with traumatic childhoods develop physical illnesses. Which I never fully understood. All of our body processes are reliant on cues from our brain, even the subconscious ones such as digestion. When you perceive something as a threat whether consciously or subconsciously, your brain’s natural instinct is to fight to destroy it in order to protect itself. Which explains why me and so many other people who suffer trauma go on to develop autoimmune disease. What is autoimmune disease? Your body attacking itself because it wrongly perceives itself as a threat. Bowel and digestive disorders? Your body not responding correctly to digesting food and trying to protect itself with inflammation. You know your body is miswired when even eating food is perceived as a threat.
I never fully understood the dynamic neural retraining stuff to heal autoimmune disease and physical illness until now. Thought it was just emotional mumbo jumbo but now it all makes sense. Emotions and thoughts are literally science. What we think and feel physically causes neurons, synapses, chemicals whatever you call it to fire in the brain which then impacts both our mental and physical health and over time can put us in a trauma loop resulting in physical and mental illness. And whether we like it or not cause subconcious physical chemical reactions in the brain, will also impact our body and health on a cellular level. Don’t believe me? Look at the experiments with plants or jars of rice. Where one is yelled at and told negative things and the other is spoken to nicely with nice words. The plant that gets yelled at and told negative things it will rot and die. Or in the rice’s case becomes moldy. Whereas the plants and rice told positive things in a positive tone flourish and remain fresh and healthy. Our brains and bodies do the same thing. Whether we like it or not. We need to work consciously and consistently to retrain our brain with an abundance of positive energy and reinforcement if we want any chance of retraining and healing from physical/mental illness.
Other insights & food for thought:
-Also explains why its called spelling. Words literally cause physical reactions, like “spells” would so to say and “tone” matters to because it literally tones our mind and body to react positively or negatively
-Explains misattribution of arousal. It’s been studied the most likely place for a guy to ask out a girl is the gym. Why because heart is racing and endorphins are flowing and a decent looking girl walks in and he attributes the feeling of excitement to her
-Explains law of attraction. Words and thoughts have power on ourselves and others as well as all forms of life even plants
-Makes you realize how interconnected everyone and everything in this world is. As well as how perfectly and logically everything comes together chemically. Like the fact we chemically need physical interaction and touch. Babies an extreme example of this in studies eventually die without physical touch due to lack of oxytocin or whatever chemical. If we did not crave physical contact the human race would cease to procreate. If we didn’t crave the chemicals released during sex not many people would reproduce.
-Makes you realize how although sad there is a reason the neglected and sick/fucked up humans, animals and plants are avoided and isolated by others. It’s because they become unfit for survival to reproduce or contribute so they die off. Almost like a simulation designed by a higher power to ensure life goes on. People are naturally wired for connection, only when intense trauma is experienced do people become rewired for protection.
-In realizing these things you realize there is likely intelligent design by a higher power, creator, or God
-Which then makes you ponder why the government has criminalized drugs that can open you up to realizing this train of thought. In my opinion this is to hide the existence of God and the power we have within ourselves to heal others and ourselves. If we aren’t aware of our power it’s easier for them to control us and bow down to them.
-As Rockefeller who funded big pharma as well the board of education two of the biggest influences on Americans was quoted as saying: “I don’t want a nation of thinkers. I want a nation of workers.”