Ad 2:
2022-01-15 04:33:39 (UTC)

I want to cut myself. I want ..

I want to cut myself. I want it to be a big deal, but it won't be. I want someone who matters to me to tell me not to do it, but also I don't want to inflict it upon anyone like that.
I don't think I have PMS. Might just be my head being shitty and full of shit like it is. I am incredibly bitter. And yet also I see that from her PoV I really have no right to be. And I'll never tell tell her I feel that way

I mean that's how it is. "You're both fuck-ups so I have to not be one." Thanks for the support. Thanks for bringing literal sociopaths into my life when I was at my lowest, and for being completely blind to the fact I was having a psychotic episode right in front of you, and for attacking my partner for no reason, and for choking me because I dared to say that your Starseed friend was doing and saying cult shit that was making me uncomfortable, and refusing to pay her share of the bills so they came out of my pocket when I was just trying to do her a favour.

You've succeeded. I am overshadowed, and will forever be the greatest fuck-up.

And thanks for being mum's favourite, she needed one. And being Kaam's favourite - smart of you to call her Mummy. And, sincerely, thank you for taking care of mum as cancer killed her. I didn't know what to do.

You were the first lesson I learned in the class of People Who Fuck You Over Will Succeed, And You Will Break.

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