Lilbean

Honi's Journal 2019 - 2022
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2022-01-15 03:07:01 (UTC)

damn DO I have BPD?

This is something I've debated for awhile. I truly wish I had started started my diary earlier at age 15 so we could see if my theory is correct.

I have pondered for awhile if I have BPD or something similar. If you've read this diary it's pretty obvious why I think so. Maybe someday I'll find out I do but I'll be like married by then lol.

Anyway, college still hasn't responded. Bluetooth is actually okay to use like what, the neighborhood is a good band and I feel like my relationship with Joseph is nice. I am restraining myself from being obsessive, like physically I have to at times.

I'm worried. I shifted realities like Monday night and I WANT to do it again but my first pair of headphones broke, everyone's up so I cannot meditate and I really don't want to break the ones I'm currently wearing.

Shifting is exhilarating, it's like I suppose drugs feel like when u get high after a really long time sober. Like, man I missed it. I missed leaving my body with my subconscious venturing into another realm. Fun stuff.


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