Prophetess

Prophetess
2022-01-12 23:30:20 (UTC)

Just One Day

It’s the second week into January and now I’m finally able to sit for a time. It’s been basically time skipping for me these last few weeks and I won’t say that I’m not glad for a moment to slow down the world. Albeit that it was a shot that caused it, but it was needed. It started with game in December and finally came to a slow down. A much-needed breath. The wheel has been shifting and with it has been some that have shifted around in my life to the various circles. I’m never sad about that but it does change things a bit. A few went to outer circles and a handful came to the inner circle. For those that don’t understand, I view relationships (familial, romantic, friendships, etc.) in circles. There is the inner circle which include those closest to me. My daughters, close friends, and those I consider family. The next is the outer circle. Not quite distant but filled with those I care about and some family. The next circle would be Friends. Those that I still consider friends but just not that close with. The last circle is Acquaintances. That’s self-explanatory. The rest are just space. Like the occasional asteroid that passes through or comet. I know that time is coming for Mercury in Retrograde. And a whole month of that sends me into going WTF universe?

I guess I’ll start with what’s at the forefront of my mind. Those shifting. One was shifted because honestly, they aren’t very good for me. I’ve grown tired of the toxic that comes with them. I’m not angry but arm’s length is for the best. The best for me in the end is to push them to Friend ring and quite possibly further if it’s called upon. One has wormed his way into the Inner Circle but not without a warning from a close friend. Soldier J sometimes has insights that I don’t always have. Not that J doesn’t want me to be happy but understands that sometimes my logic goes out the window. In this case he simply wants to see me be happy but be sure of where I’m stepping. He’s heard of my epic missteps when I have a crush on someone. I am glad that he is being different than the one that was pushed back. Of course, when those are removed there are those that come forward. An entire house in fact. I don’t know what I would do without them. As family both in LARP and in life I wouldn’t know what to do without them. I’ve been stepping further and further out of my comfort zone because of them. Added to that is one but more crush than family.

It’s been an easier road of late even if it’s been very busy. My LARP life has gotten busy and extensive. I’ve even made some character decisions that will be coming into play. My work life has been crazy busy. Life in general has been moving like lightning. A small break from school doesn’t seem long enough but I have that at least as well.

Now to The Crush. Soldier J teased me a bit because it was funny for him to see me like this. He did temper me with care for fear my heart getting involved. For now, I wouldn’t dare too much but I have to say that between The Crush and The Knight it’s like night and day. So many excuses. That’s okay. I’m now understanding a phrase I heard once before. I’ll allow a lot because I would rather have you in my life than not at all. He’s quietly raised the bar without realizing it. Hell, he even has shown up The Knight. He hasn’t seen what he’s done and that’s okay. I can say that I think we bring out the best in each other. Still though my relationship goals are J and F. If I can even have half of what they have then I would die happy. The Crush has at least been honest (even if it’s been mostly tossing in excuses by my opinion and a couple of others agree). I haven’t had to guess. I haven’t been wondering. I haven’t spent sleepless nights trying to figure everything out. I’m not second guessing every move I make with him. It’s almost effortless. Not to say that there wasn’t a flare up from somewhere else, but it was taken in stride and laughed off. Almost like Soldier J did. I won’t lie that I’m nervous in some ways. I don’t want to mess anything up. Yet I find that anytime something happens The Crush and Red are the first ones I tell. I’m eager to see what is still yet to come. As I sit here, I know I should be heading to bed but so many things are going around in my mind these days. I can’t put them all out there just yet, but I can say this I like the road I’m on and I want to keep going. I’m eager to see what’s around the corner. With that I do have a bit of apprehension. There are some things there that I wonder what will come if things go differently. Only time will tell. And this time I can’t wait to see.




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