Sex and Christianity (trying to be honest with myself)
As a strong Christian (Baptist) I find the life I now live in Christ to be far more fulfilling and hopeful than in my past (more anxiety ridden) life. But coming from a non-christian culture background, I tend to look at things quite differently than most of my fellow evangelical friends who grew up in this weird Chik-fil-a lifestyle where everyone seemed to like following rules. Rules are important, but they aren't salvation. Christianity by definition means that you have accepted Christ as your savior. It's not about doing all of the right things, in fact, in the bible it talks about how it's actually sinful to think that by doing good works you are somehow saving yourself since that is impossible and you are only bringing pride to the table.
As a result of this, I always found it odd that Christian culture exists so strongly and I felt sort of left out when I didn't follow the actions of other Christians. Stuff like:
- Going to parties and dancing (for whatever reason it seems to be frowned upon).
- Getting drunk. The Ephesians verse is establishing that your actions have consequences and if you are constantly getting drunk it will ruin your life. When it says: "Don't get drunk with wine, for it will ruin your life..." it's talking about drunkenness, getting drunk in a good setting will not ruin your life. However, being addicted to alcohol (or hard drugs for that matter) absolutely can. And, I think it's very wise to avoid all alcohol if you know that it can affect you in a bad way.
- Smoking weed. I think it's kind of a waste of money. But I don't think it's going to ruin yourself. Even hard drugs if used in the appropriate way I don't think are sinning. The bible commands Christians to flee from things that will "ruin" their lives. This is wise. Be wise. Nuf said.
So these things are all pretty clear to me. But the one that I do have to draw a hard line on is sex. First of all, if you aren't a Christian then it doesn't matter, I think it's actually a sin to judge other non-christians for their "evil" ways. There are several reasons I think sex outside marriage is prohibited in the bible. Firstly, there's no getting around the fact that the act of sex outside of marriage is a sin. The bible uses the words "sexual relations" and it seems to me that this is literally referring to intercourse. So..... yeah... oral sex would technically be allowed under this definition. But!!! In other areas of the bible it says that we should flee from sexual immortality and lust.
So... what does this mean? And, in Matthew Jesus even says that anyone who looks at a girl with lust has already committed a sin. So unless you are the most extreme Muslim who is prohibited from looking at a girl directly, we've all committed this sin (and ladies too...). So this goes back to really the more general question: Can I make out with my girlfriend? Well, the answer is, maybe if you aren't actively running into a big problem of lust towards her. If I'm being honest, I don't think kissing is always sexual, in fact, most of the time it isn't. It's almost a way of showing her affection. It's almost like a hug. When I'm kissing my girlfriend I don't think to myself: "Omg I really want to have sex with her right now". Although I'm going to be honest, I definitely do want to lol. It's just that in the moment I'm more concerned about her and what she is feeling and less about what I want. So, I don't really think kissing is lustful. Now, maybe making out could be if it goes too far. And... idk what "too far" is. This is where it's all about how your mind is working. I mean, as Jesus said, even looking at a girl and imagining things can be a sin lol. But... stuff like oral sex I think are impossible without lust... obviously. The same can be said with porn. I don't really have an issue with masturbation though.
All of this is a conversation I know I will need to have with Madison soon. I just want to make sure we're on the same page so I'm sort of thinking through this here first. Okay. I think I'm good :).