Wryne

Fake It Till You Make It
2021-11-21 00:13:59 (UTC)

Voice of reason?

When i'm the voice of reason it's hilarious, because i'm just me, i'm no genius, I'm no scholar, there are far more capable adult-ier adults out there and people wiser than me.
I think all i have going for me is a crippling sense of right and wrong, that when i know something is wrong will literally make me feel physically sick and i can't handle it and it gives me tremendous amounts of anxiety.
Like i know in this situation that's come up, that i know what the truth is, that i know what the answer is, i know in this place what is right and what is wrong and the idea of the people that i'm under, the people that i have put trust into handling the situation wrong, is making me really upset and i've studied, and prepared to go into this situation ready to defend and explain my view point with actual references as to why my view point is correct and not just based on opinion but founded in facts and i just.....have anxiety and i'm not good at faking things...like faking smiles and social interactions when i know that things are brewing underneath.
anyways.... i've written something and it sucks but i'm going to leave it here for now, might delete later.... poem below that is horrible.
My thoughts here....valid ha.
okay i have to go and try to sleep because tomorrow is going to be a long ass day.
and the next week.........will as well, i just want to get past Wednesday.
and see where this situation is then, and what it looks like.


Voice of reason?
Ha you've got the wrong girl
How can i be the voice of reason?
when i can't reason with the voice in my mind
Can't tell it not to worry, it'll panic even more
Can't tell it There's no hurry when it's dark outside.

Voice of reason?
Ha you haunt my waking hours
How can I believe in the wavering gray?
When i'm plagued with Red & Black words on white pages
Can't tell me that it's not the living, Breathing truth
Can't tell me i'm the only one alone with my pride.

Voice of reason?
Ha I'm scared of what's to be
How can i lie to those listening to me?
When i'm faced with defending what is actually right.
Can't tell you what this feels like needing to run
Can't tell you what to do when you can't trust your guide.



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