(AmIHere)

My Thoughts
2021-11-17 18:43:53 (UTC)

Confidence? 18+

I have found that when it comes to my spouse and i, I have to figure out how to be more "confident/assertive" when it comes to the bedroom. Both of which I fail at immensely. I have always been more of a follower versus anything else, even outside the bedroom this tends to be me.

I'M BORED!!

However, I need more "spice" in my life, don't get me wrong our bedroom adventures are good and all, but I want/need more. I've never had the issue of being with someone who wasn't assertive/leading in the bedroom, until I met my current spouse (11 years together). I tried in the beginning to explain what I needed/wanted and it was taken to people who I didn't want knowing. So that didn't help me at all. The other day I put on an outfit, and just waited for my spouse to come to bed, and the sex was amazing!! But I still need/want more, I've tried talking to them about it, but it always ends in "well I'll think about it and let you know", Like how do you need to think about it? I'm literally, offering to do ANYTHING, and you have to think about it?!?!? It never comes of anything though, it always just dissipates and it turns into them forgetting about it.

I just want them to even just once, Dominate me, tease me, fuck me till I can't take it anymore then go a little further, hell spank me, pull my hair, tie me up for all I care, just some passion/lust/dominance from them would be freaking amazing!!!

Which leads me to where I am now, I am trying my damndest to not step out, So I am trying to figure out how to become more confident in myself and be able to be more assertive (without scaring them (they are very vanilla) but how?) I'm not a dominate, I don't know how to take the lead in the bedroom, I don't even want to, if I'm being honest its not a turn on for me to have to be the one to take the lead. I would have to say it's more of a turn off for me than anything right now. Which leads me to my next question, Is it even possible to change how I feel about it? I don't know.

I'm beyond bored with my sex life, I've never had a problem with my sex life until now, I could always find someone that could satisfy the urges I get. But I want to remain faithful, and not step out on this one because aside from the very vanilla sex life every other aspect is great.




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