Live my life♥

Interview and disappointment

Today was my interview & the experience was disastrous. This opportunity was gotten over to me by my ex colleague. 1st round was not a big deal even though I did lot of my study I wasn't asked about it but basic, now 2nd round happened today and it was the worst interview I remember. He grilled me on my personal info, he asked very little on my professional experience. He did all possible talks to downgrade me. I understood his way of interviewing still I kept calm & gave all answers. I thought he would select me but I was wrong, He wasn't impressed by my CV specially the gap. He told me friend abt it and asked her about me. she gave a good feedback on my professional skills. They told her its up to my friend and she has to take responsibility if they hire me and I actually found it silly... I told her just tell them I want to genuinely work other than not to insist. she did that but she shared my personal info on shaadi too.. which was stupid of her. anyways I don't care all I want is a good job.
Now I have not received any feedback yet but, even if I get trough am not be happy about it. some how I have to drag my ass and work here. what demotivated me in this process was that I was called aimless and not career oriented. also, they had questions on me about me sitting at home for so long. I was looked down. Am taking it all positively am sure am gonna have a good life ahead, but this did made me cry too... what good could be stored in this I don't know why god is being cruel on me. my patience is about to exhaust now. I can completely feel people who are tired and end their life. But am never gonna do so.
I dont know whom do I blame for my current situation, I guess am the only blamable not life, not V, not Corona or my back luck phewww..
Ill surely update the results soon, cya I hope things workout well for me.