Slowly descending into madness
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2021-11-16 09:55:20 (UTC)


I have severe pain in my neck and shoulders. I don't understand where it's because of the way I slept yesterday. I had a tough time the last 2 days. Extremely emotional and a mess because of the extreme pressure. Academical pressure the university is putting on me. Two term papers and one slides for presentations weren't easy. I forgot how awfully extreme offline presentations can be. I could nearly breathe honestly.

Good thing is, I barely have any stage fright even after spending 2 years in quarantine. I don't know how I did it, but I was able to do it. I remember how nervous I got when the IT guy asked for my phone number for administration work in my first year. I forgot about all my personal information because of social anxiety. How sad is it? Glad I overcame the fear slowly.

Ok, no I know how I did it. I had to work on a research project for a few months that required me to talk over the phone for 4/5 hours daily. That did it, I must admit. I changed in other ways too.

Change is good. Change is constant. Change is hard to accept but it's good. I remember the man I used to talk to, sent me an ss of FB memory from 3 years ago then said, "I haven't changed a bit". i judged him so hard, cause bro that only shows you haven't grown a bit. And it showed later lmao, immature little bitch.