Jake 🇺🇸

Killing Lions
2021-11-12 10:48:49 (UTC)

She's a people pleaser

Instagram. The window into all of the lifestyles you ever wanted. I don't struggle much with envy and so I find the posts really inspiring and as a way to motivate me to want to travel and try to get those artsy shots that look amazing. I just love being able to post beautiful things that will make others say "wow".

So... I've been thinking a lot about Madison, I don't know if I can say this about most girls but she is so logical. It's very easy for me to reason with her, unlike Bel, I can just talk through problems with her and she's really willing to listen. Another thing I really appreciate is that she brings up the best conversation topics. She's someone I feel like I can really grow with, and I value growth over status. Sure, she's going to be a doctor, probably own some clinic or whatever, but right now she's in school and workign towards something. She's growing and that's important to me. Also, I just have the feeling that in the future she's going to be so much better. She's got so much potential.

We were talking on the phone last night, and I remember telling her that she needed to be a bit more disagreeable, and a bit more of a fighter and to not just accept and do whatever I wanted. She admitted that she was definitely a people pleaser, but, then she said,

"but I want to find ways to love on you, why is that a bad thing?"

I realized that she was totally right. I didn't really have anything to say in the moment, but I want to think more about that here. Being a people pleaser isn't a bad thing, but, it can go too far if you end up losing who you are. I know I did that when I was with Bel. All of my friends vanished, I ended up doing things that looking back were ridiculous, like, breaking my morals, spending 2-3 hours on the phone every single day. I remember when I broke up with her I felt a huge weight fall off my chest. It was like I was free, but it was also, a little uneasy since I had to rebuild my social network in the middle of the pandemic. But on the other hand, doesn't a real relationship have compromises? I mean, it requires sacrifice from both people. That's the only way the relationship can truly be amazing. Both people have to put in a lot of work. But.... too much of that can interfere with life in a big way. What if I DO want her to lose her old self? What if her old self has issues and if she falls into my frame then she'll be better off?

"The person with the most power in a relationship is the person who needs the other person the least."

It's always the guy's responsibility to guide the relationship. She needs to be loyal and willing and so I guess I shouldn't complain about her being too willing to do anything. It just makes me suspicious when girls fall so quickly. Maybe I shouldn't be suspicious? Idk. Anyway, we're doing a coffee date later today and mostly just going to be studying together, which sounds fun lol.

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